The last stop in Chapel Hill for the Sweats Master Q tour is The Cougar.  And what a fitting last stop, giving me a chance to see guys I haven’t seen since, well, Paradise.  Great to see all the PAX out here, faces new and old.  And welcome to FNG Dilbert!

Antov Chekov once famously remarked, “One should not put a loaded rifle onto the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.  If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one, it should be fired. Otherwise don’t put it there.”

The metaphor is supposed to suggest that you should not make things more complicated than they need to be, and that people appreciate a clear payoff, not only in literary circles, but as it happens, also in F3 as well. The pursuit of creativity can often become a Pyrrhic victory. The best of us make the complicated seem simple, while the worst make the simple seem complicated.  In other words, it helps to keep in mind the timeless axiom: keep it simple, stupid.

This in mind, I tried to give the Cougar faithful some oldies but goodies with a few (simple) twists to keep things interesting.  Here’s how it all went down.

Warm-up: SSH, Lt. Dans, Willie Mays Hayes, Merkins (regular and diamond), Windmills, and
Semi-Circle Mountain Climbers.

New Variations on Old Themes:

• Old: Merkins and Dry-Docks.  New:  Inchworm Merkins:  Start off in dry-dock position, cadence count out to full plank, perform merkin, cadence count back to dry dock, perform dry dock.  X 20.
• Old: SSH.  New:  Foot Fire:  Assume defensive stance with knees slightly bent.  Shuffle one foot forward, one foot backward, in cadence count, and on the 2nd count feet should be parallel.  X 25
• Old: Planks and Merkins.  New: Foot-and-Fruit Merkins: Perform merkin, then left arm/right leg up on 2, right arm/left leg up on 3.  X 20
• Old: Burpees.  New:  180 Degree Burpee/Broad Jumps: Broad jump, 180 degree spin, burpee, broad jump X 20.

Then we had the need.  The need for speed.  I took a Red Barchetta and made it my own.

• 400 meter sprint, followed by 100 cadence count SSH of different varieties: regular, smurf, seal, plank.  25 each
• 200 meter sprint, followed by 75 squats combined with overhead clap
• 100 meter sprint, followed by 25 WWII/Russian Hammer combos

Dracula Sprints:

For our next lap around the track, we all got on our backs and I instructed PAX to let every body part sink into the ground.  Arms, elbows, palms, calves, you name it.  On my Q, we would get up as fast as we possibly could, and sprint to a certain point on the track.  We would then assume the (Dracula in a coffin) position again.  We did this for 400.

Finisher/Mary:  Just a 400, silly.

Moleskine:  On behalf of all the PAX, I would like to humbly ask Spooky to slow down.  Great push from Champ, French Lick, Selfie, and of course the Spookmeister and many others on these runs!  Pleather, thank you for bringing back my skull cap that I left in Panera.  Needless to say, I haven’t needed it much recently, but they don’t call me Sweats for nothin’.

CoT:

French Lick shared Super Cooper’s Rockin’ Run and Family Fun.  Sign up here: https://runsignup.com/Race/NC/ChapelHill/SuperCoopersRockinRunandFamilyFun

Prayers to Houston.  All the very best to those (being helped and helping others) who are subject to the forces of nature, much beyond their control.