First of all, this workout could have been much, much worse. See here. M Beaker went all in on helping YHC devise partner exercises for the Brodeo. Unfortunately, she was operating from a couples” exercise site…so I put some extreme filters in place. Regardless, the pre-Q mumblechatter reminiscing over some of Bones” greatest hits in the partner exercise space inspired me to attempt an entire BroQ. Mission accomplished…but unlikely to ever be repeated, or talked about for that matter.
Beaker”s Beginnings (The Warm-Up)
A packed house of 17 PAX including an FNG, great numbers for TR!
Jog the peanut with high knees and butt kickers
Circle up for 15x SSH, 10x WMH, 10x Good mornings, and plank-merkin-Bobby Ventura progression
Beaker”s Beatdown (The Thang)
Grab a carry-it-all-day sized rock and head over to the soccer field for the Bro-tilus, which is like the Nautilus, but with a partner, and the exercises at each corner varied from “acceptable in polite society” to “awkwardly uncomfortable but it”s dark so I can”t really see anyway so we”ll roll with it”.
Corner 1 – Bro-kins (Wheelbarrow merkins) 10x each
Corner 2 – Bro-pees 10x each (YHC, FNG Madman, and Cardiac had a pretty awesome three-man Bropee going)
Corner 3 – Big Bro Sit-ups (pass the rock back and forth) 10x total
Corner 4 – The Bros” chair (back-to-back squat hold, pass the rock) 10x total
Spiral out from the goal box to the full field
People”s chair on the fence until all PAX had completed
Pick up those rocks and head to the playground for 2 circuits of three stations:
10x Bro-ll ups (spotted, amazingly good form pull ups)
10x Rock-Bro (back-to-back, pass the rock underneath, then clean-and-press)
5x each leg “I Bro-lled my Hammy” (one-leg supported by partner, one-legged squat jump)
With that, it was time to move on to Mary
On sixes, rocks in the air, homer2marge x 15
Pickle-pounders x 15 (Thanks Choo-Choo!)
Beyonces x 10 each side
That was about all I think anyone could take. Not physically, most PAX looked up for more. But I think we all bear some emotional scars from this.
Beaker”s Benediction (COT)
Name-o-rama – 17 PAX, no “respects”, no “hates”, all “mehs”
Announcements:
-FiA needs some love. Saturdays, Githens, 8-ish am. Talk to your M about going.* Except Footfall, let your M rest (see prayers)
-Carpex-Churham convergence. May 6th, Bond Park (great AO). It”s a great group of men in Carpex, could be an awesome event if both regions show up in numbers.
Prayers:
-Footfall”s baby is on the way!**
Naked Mole Skin
*Try to approach this conversation delicately. “Hey baby, you could really use a workout” probably conveys the wrong message. Instead, try “honey, you know how fulfilling and physically and mentally satisfying F3 has been for me? (And I”ve caught you staring at my glutes) Well, turns out there is a similar group for women, called FiA. They workout on Saturdays right after the F3 workout, so I could take the kids off your hands and let you spend some quality time with some amazing ladies. (And don”t forget the glutes)”.
**Here”s my advice to Footfall which you should absolutely heed to be a successful father and supportive husband:*!*!*! Remind your wife regularly for the first 6 months of your child”s life that she is hormonally and biologically preconditioned to sleep lighter and wake to feed the baby. Besides, you need to rest to make it to F3. And by the way, now that the whole pregnancy thing is over, she should really get to FiA
*!*!*! Absolutely do not do this if you would like to continue to be a father and husband