On a slightly-drizzly far-too-warm gloomy morn in mid-January (typical weather these days), seven stalwart PAX gathered on the greens of Vortex for a Top-Down workout. It went like this:

Warm-Up:

• Obligatory SSH
• Good Mornings
• Willie Mays Hayes
• Slow and Wide Merkins
• Imperial Walkers
• Arm Circles
• Overhead Claps

(Q-note: this was a Bottom-Up warmup, but that was pretty subtle and probably no one noticed. YHC is not upset at all by that.)

The Main Event proceeded in Five Stages, beginning with…

THE TOP:

A Bear Crawl to the 18 to warm up the shoulders, followed by six high-quality Donkey Kicks and a bear crawl return to start brought us to a ‘rest’ position of Balls to the Wall (or the about-faced “Bros the Fro,” which is a term YHC hopes will catch on) for the span of an Assisi origin story or 10 minutes, whichever was shorter. We shook things out with 25 Air Presses and repeated the whole business 1x.

THE UPPER:

Shoulders shot, YHC led the indomitable crew in a Merkin Pyramid to 10 (and back down), with a rest position of Superman between each step. Crew discovered that Superman is actually a shoulder exercise – who knew?

THE MIDDLE:

Moving on down toward six-pack potential, PAX partnered up. While one ran the length of the field, the other performed 60:40 Crunches:WWIIs (6 crunches, 4 WWIIs; repeat until partner returns) for about two runs apiece. Some planking while the six came in, followed by a set of recovery Nolan Ryans.

THE LOWER:

Fondly recalling their time at the TOP, the PAX Bear Brawled with a partner up to the 18, executed 10 flawless Squat Jumps, and Bear Brawled right back to land in a People’s Chair. 25 recovery Squats, and then a repeat.

THE BOTTOM:

Since YHC’s maintained musculoskeletal function below the knee, PAX remedied that with 60:40 Johnny Dramas:Tuck Jumps while partners ran the field; swapped about 2x each.

Knowing no toe exercises, we transitioned to…

MARY:

• Flutter Kicks (Assisi)
• Plank Ring-of-Fire with 5 Merkins apiece
• Surprise Repeat Plank Ring-of-Fire with 5 Merkins apiece
• American Hammers
• Writing “O’s” in the Air with our Feet (Big Kat)
• X’s and O’s, in honor of Bitcoin’s team winning some sort of sports game on Monday