Saturday dawned warm and humid—perfect for a “deceptive beatdown,” which is my stock in trade.

Warm-Up
2 fellowship laps (it was going to be 1, but Sweatervest’s impudence led to a 2nd)
SSH x 25
Willie Mays Hayes
Imperial Walker
High Knees
Arm Circles, forward and reverse, keeping arms up
Overhead Clap, keeping arms up
Seal Clap
Merkins w/ a Twist, i.e. merkin, R arm up, merkin, L arm up is one; 10 IC

The Thang
First, we had a series of five numbered exercises, but I didn’t reveal the order. It turned out the exercises were in alphabetical order. Who knew?! (Spoiler: I did.) The exercises were:
1. Burpees
2. Jump Squats
3. Merkins
4. Monkey Humpers
5. World War IIs
Each 2.0 went around and picked a number from 1-10, which determined what exercise we would perform. The catch was that the number wasn’t the number of the exercise, but instead the way we got from one exercise to another. For instance, if the previous exercise was Burpees and someone said “3” the next exercise would be Monkey Humpers, because we moved 3 spots from 1 to 4.
If someone said “5” from Burpees, it would be Burpees again because there were only 5 exercises, so a 5 took you back where you started. If someone said “8” from Burpees, it would be Monkey Humpers, because 5 takes you back to Burpees and then 3 more to Monkey Humpers at No. 4. People, it’s not that complicated!
We ended up doing a lot of Burpees and Monkey Humpers and very few Merkins and Jump Squats. Them’s the breaks.

Next we lined up on the midfield stripe and bear crawled to the end line, then lunge walked back.

We moseyed to the hill and grabbed some fence. We did dips, urkins and durkins, then repeated it.

Since the hill was right there, it would’ve been sinful not to use it. So we ran to the top of the hill, did 5 burpees; ran to the bottom, did 5 8-point Manmakers; ran back to the top, did 5 burpees; then ran/moseyed to the middle of the field for Mary.

Mary
LBCs
American Hammer
Box Cutter
Heels To Heaven
Peter Parker, then Parker Peter
Superman

Announcements: Mr. Brady and Big Kat are stepping down after a legendary year and a half as site Qs. Scrooge McDuck has stepped up for one slot, but they’re looking for a second. Could it be you?
Jolly Roger has its official launch on Monday after what seems like a dozen soft launches.
Site Chaplain Crockett took us out.

I appreciate the chance to lead. The next time I am at Thin Blue Line, likely on July 20, I will finally be deserving of F3 respect, which as far as I can tell is the main (only?) upside of turning 50. Aye!