At 3-weeks shy of YHC 64th birthday I was certainly an old virgin – but I am no longer. Surprisingly, I am not the most ‘senior’ member of our AO just the most ‘senile’. Nitro, aka Plankitron, claims to be in his early 70s but none of us believe him. Montecristo, F-3 Ironman 2022, claims to be in his mid-60s, nobody believes him either.
Today, us old guys (and yes, we outnumbered the young ins) showed those whippersnappers what it is like to grow older with:
1. ‘The Old Man Shuffle’ – shuffled aimlessly Tim Conway-style while asking questions in each room we entered like: ‘Why am I in this room?’, ‘Where are my reading glasses?’ and ‘What is my wife saying?’
2. ‘Maw-Maws and Paw-Paws’ (exercises spelling each),
3. ‘Timmy-Bobbys’ – variant of Ricky-Bobby where YHC may have issues stopping [common among the elderly] when overtaking the lead and may wander a bit when in the middle of the pack – pack must follow. (Note: YHC was called ‘Timmy-Bobby’ throughout childhood with an identical twin named Bobby no-one could tell us apart.)
4. ‘Bernie Sanders’ (another old Vermonter)
5. ‘Hangman’s Bluff’ – partners compete, one partner hangs while the other keeps time with seal-claps, when the first guy falls, he and his partner were to ascend the bluff on the opposite side of the road then return. Subsequent PAX falling were to run to the base of Hangman’s Bluff and back to edge of lot looking down on bars. The total score for a team was the total claps they received for each partner plus the number of times they went to Hangman’s Bluff in back. Unfortunately, due to time constraints (VQ after all), we were only able to do one round and shortened the run to the immediate hill next to the bars. This may seem like a morbid game for an old-guy workout, but studies have shown that the longer you can hang the longer you will live. So, it is with great trepidation that I report that Nighthawk will probably outlive us all!

Warm Up:
1. Abe Vigodas x 10ish (Official F3 ‘Old Man’ exercise)
2. SSH x 20 IC (non-prostate version)
3. Willie Mays Hayes x 10 IC
4. Hillbillies x 10 IC
5. Arm Circles FW x 10 IC
6. Arm Circles RV x 10 IC

The Thang:

1. Old Man Shuffle followed by final old-man question: ‘Which of you guys can beat me to the bottom of the hill?’ (Modesty prevents me from reporting the results)
2. Maw-Maws: Merkins x 5 + Alternate lunges IC x 10 + WW1s x 15 + Merkins x 5 + Alternate lunges IC x 10 + WW1s x 15 + Squats x 20
3. Side shuffle to next corner.
4. Paw-Paws: Prisoner Squats x 5 + Alternate Side Squats IC x 10 + WW2s x 15 + Prisoner Squats x 5 + Alternate Side Squats x 10 + WW2s x 15 + SSHs IC x 20
5. Timmy-Bobby’d almost to next corner but YHC wandered backwards to halfway point (performed squats until full line came together)
6. Moseyed (favorite of old-timers) to next corner.
7. Bernie’d uphill to the bars.
8. Hung out at Hangman’s Bluff

Mary:
1. Homer-to-Marge x 15
2. Heel taps IC x 15
3. LBC x 15 (maybe not… memory is failing)

Announcements:
1. The Gambler – join the channel #gambler-iii
2. Prayer requests: DeWater’s son test results, Spartan’s twin daughters’ college graduations.

BOM:
Slightly emotional (common among the elderly) thankyou from YHC recounting my initiation into F3 Nighthawk-style (alternate universe) and the moment not long thereafter at a Zook Q when I thought I wasn’t F3-worthy due to my age and shape only to be surrounded by all Pax to escort me back to AO for a rousing ‘Respect’. Pax were confused if my emotion was due to my story or the fact that I had lost my virginity.