Growing up, “The Goonies” was in the top 3 of YHC’s favorite movies (add in “Teen Wolf” and “The Karate Kid”).  YHC was inspired by the sheer strength of a beloved Goonies’s character, Sloth.  YHC was ready to the PAX Sloth Strong.

WARM-UP:

YHC searched the Exicon for a few different warm-up exercises and found gold.

Abe Vigoda x 10 (slow cadence count)

Annie x 20 (cadence count, 10 R hand, 10 L hand)

Finkle Swings x 20 (cadence count, 10 R leg, 10 L leg)

Flying Sun Gods Sobriety Style AKA Nancy Kerrigan x 20 (cadence count, 10 R arm, 10 L arm)

Sprinkler x 20 (cadence count 10 R side, 10 L side)

The Chinook x 10 (cadence count) Reverse x 10

THE THANG:

During a pivotal scene of The Goonies, our heroes are forced to cross a water-riddled and slick log in order to traverse from one side of the cave to the other.  *Spoiler* (33 years later) – Sloth saves the day when he meets up with the crew on the pirate ship, but we never see him cross the log, YHC would like to think Sloth picked the log up and crossed the cavernous waters….thus, PAX picked up two logs (#duck-and-weave staple) and began their journey.

*For motivation, YHC played an 80s themed playlist throughout the THANG*

Logs on shoulders PAX crossed the Eno and moseyed to Stick Works.

Once arriving a Stick Works, PAX completed the following:

Overhead Press x 20 (SC) with log

Rows x 20 (SC) with log

Curls x 20 (SC) with log

PAX dropped the logs and moseyed to the first fork on the running path.

Sloth’s chest was enormous, YHC assured PAX their chests would expand to Sloth-like stature by the end the workout.

The Wolverine: F3 Nation describes this exercise as “[a] big-boy burpee fit for a super-hero.”  YHC turned this into a 14 count Burpee.  Here’s the breakdown – (1) From standing position, drop to fingers and toes,(2) expand to plank, (3-4) 1 Merkin,(5-6) 1 left knee tuck to the chest, (7-8) another Merkin, (9-10) 1 right knee tuck to the chest, (11-12) yet another merkin, (13) stand, and (14) jump and overhead clap.

10 Wolverines were performed and PAX were thoroughly out of breath.

PAX moseyed to the bridge connecting Fairbault Lane with Riverwalk and performed the following:

Human Canopy: PAX created a Human Canopy (YHC noted this bridge is much wider than the bridge utilized @ #therock, whereby fingers and toes were barely hanging on for the duration) and each PAX traveled under the Human Canopy via different modes – (1) Inchworm; (2) Bear Crawl; (3) Gorilla Crawl; (4) Inchworm; (5) Bear Crawl; and (6) Gorilla Crawl.  PAX traversed the length of the bridge.

Chest and shoulders burning, PAX moseyed back to the same spot where they previously performed the Wolverine.

Merkin Mania: Still trying to emulate Sloth’s chest, the PAX enjoyed Merkin Mania – (1) 5 Diamond Merkins, (2) 5 Merkins, (3) 5 Wide Arm Merkins, (4) 5 Crucible Merkins, (5) 5 Staggered Merkins 1 way, (6) 5 Staggered Merkins the other way, (7) 5 Tempo Merkins, and (8) 5 Hand Release Merkins.  Merkin Mania was completed via single count without a break.

Looking for something to take their minds off their chests, PAX moseyed to the logs, picked them up, and took off back to the starting point (Weaver St. parking deck).

One arriving at the starting point, PAX placed the logs back in their resting place and completed one last exercise…Worst Worst Merkin.

The Worst Worst Merkin Ever looks like so: Completed in a cadence count, 1 Crucible Merkin on 1, 1 Wide Arm Merkin on 2, 1 Merkin on 3, and 1 Diamond Merkin on 4. 5 WWMEs were performed.

MARY:

Hello Dolly x 10 (cadence count)

WW2 x 10 (single count)

Dyring Cockroach x 10 (single count)

COT:

Prayers for those traveling for the summer and preparing for the Independence Day Tough GoRuck.

MOLESKIN:

Great way to start the weekend with the wonderful men of the Northern Province.  Look forward to more Goonie themed workouts.