Slaughterhouse 5

April 17, 2020

WHEN: 04/17/2020
QIC: Grunge

Grunge Churham Q Count To Date:

  1. ThickBush (1/6)
  2. Hare Ball (1/7)
  3. Strollin’ Rone (1/14)
  4. Pooty Tang (1/17)
  5. AM-SCRAM (1/23)
  6. Moosenlauf (1/30)
  7. Sugar Walls (2/21)
  8. The Cack (2/24)
  9. Funkus Amongus (2/26)
  10. F*ck da Beav (2/28)
  11. The Big Louse (3/11)
  12. Deep Throat (3/17) *
  13. Honey Vag (3/20) *
  14. How’s da Peen? (4/8) *
  15. Pubic Itch (4/13) *
  16. A F*ck Ton (Today) *

* Virtual Qs

Workout plan for today is my adaptation of the classic Kurt Vonnegut novel, “Slaughterhouse-Five.” But before we get into that, it is tradition at F*ck Ton to do the Man Maker EC before the Main Event, so let’s get that shizz out of the way first.

MAN MAKER EC

  • Commando Pulls, x10 Single
  • LBCs, x30 Single
  • Coupon (Weighted) Carry, 50 Meters
  • Burpees, x10 Single
  • Run, 800 Meters
  • Coupon (Weighted) Carry, 50 Meters

Repeato the above cycle AMRAP for 30 Min

YHC chose to go with a 30# ruck and a couple 25# weight plates for the coupon carry, but PAX are free to use whatever they wish/need/desire. I was able to smackdown 5 rounds of the above in a little over 40 minutes. Good times. Hope you all were able to make a man outta yourselves this am as well.

OK, we done with the preliminaries. So, time to get a…

WARM UP

  • SSH –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • SSH –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • Merkins –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • Merkins –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • BW Squats –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • BW Squats –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • LBC –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters
  • LBC –> AYG Sprint 40 Meters

Hit all your AYGs at 85-90%. All exercises are x20 Single. Bust that sh*t up, y’all.

OK, let’s move on to the…

MAIN EVENT

So this is YHC’s signature workout. It is best if done on a soccer field, but it does not matter. Today, I did the workout at the Briar Chapel Sports Complex since it has pull up bars and plenty of open space. Any field or open space will do – so long as it has 4 corners, and is of a decent size (75-100 Meters per side).

There will be four stations for this workout, one at each corner. At each station, you will be performing a couplet of exercises. The rep scheme is detailed below under Corner 1. Repeat the rep scheme for each couplet for each of the four corners. Start at any corner of the field.

Corner 1: Merkins & Mountain Climbers

  • Merkins, x 10 Single
  • Mtn Climbers, x 9 Cadence
  • Merkins, x 8 Single
  • Mtn Climbers, x 7 Cadence
  • Merkins, x 6 Single
  • Mtn Climbers, x 5 Cadence
  • Merkins, x 4 Single
  • Mtn Climbers, x 3 Cadence
  • Merkins, x 2 Single
  • Mtn Climbers, x 1 Cadence
  • and end with…Merkins, x 10 Single

Run to Corner 2

Corner 2: WWIIs & Flutter Kicks

  • Repeato rep sequence using the above two exercises

Run to Corner 3

Corner 3: Burpees & BW Squats

  • Repeato rep sequence using the above two exercises

Run to Corner 4

Corner 4: 8 Count Body Builders & Monkey Humpers

  • Repeato rep sequence using the above two exercises

Run to Midfield

Midfield: PTSD Round. Life is not linear. It is not a straight progression through time and space. Sometimes, we live it all at once, infinite dimensions overlapping.

  • Merkins, x 10 Single
  • WWIIs, x 10 Single
  • Burpees, x 10 Single
  • 8 Count Body Builders, x 10 Single

Then…

  • Mtn Climbers, x 9 Cadence
  • Flutter Kicks, x 9 Cadence
  • BW Squats, x 9 Cadence
  • Monkey Humpers, x9 Cadence

Now…

  • Repeato Merkins, WWIIs, Burpees, 8 Count BB, all x 8 Single

Then…

  • Repeato Mtn Climb, Flutters, Squats, Humpers, all x 7 Cadence

And…

  • Repeato Merkins, WWIIs, Burpees, 8 Count BB, all x 6 Single

And…

  • Repeato Mtn Climb, Flutters, Squats, Humpers, all x 5 Cadence

OK, now you can…

Run back to your StartEx and finish the workout with…

MARY, QUITE CONTRARY

BLIMPS

  • Burpees, x 6 Single
  • LBCs, x 6 Cadence
  • Iron Mikes (Alt Jump Lunges), x 6 1-2 Count
  • Mtn Climbers, x 6 Cadence
  • Plank Jacks, x 6 Cadence
  • SSH, x 6 Cadence

Crush 6 Rounds of the above. No ‘scuses. Don’t be a p*ssy. Should not take more than 10 min.

Aight, now you done.

BOM/COT

Announcements

Name-o-Rama

BOM

“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”

“All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is.”

“How nice — to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.”

“That’s one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones.”

“I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.”

“There is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre.”

~ K. Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

Hope you all and your loved ones are doing well and staying healthy. Stay safe, stay strong. Much love. Peace.

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