Snow on the ground. 32 degrees at 0500. 14 PAX strong. 6 for EC. This is paradise.
EC was led by local bad boy, Vice, who worked on his spelling and led the PAX in some stuff with blocks. Lots of mumblechatter and visualizations of Vice. Highly motivating.
Quicken was supposed to have the Q, but had to give it up a couple of days ago so that he could herd his goats (that is not a euphemism). Maraschino jumped on the opportunity (as he is constantly stalking the paradise channel waiting for Vice to throw shade at him, his family, or his community) and then roped Australian transplant, Spam, in to co-Q.
Maraschino dodged snowballs and led the PAX in a spirited warmup: SSHs, Imperial Walkers, WMHs, Mountain Climbers, Slow Squats, and Overhead Claps.
Maraschino then explained the theme of his portion of the Q: SABOTAGE.
PAX began with 3 minutes of max burpees to the melodious crooning of the Beastie Boys. Standard was to exceed 35 burpees. Recover. Uzi led all PAX in 5 seal burpees as a reward for those that did not meet the standard.
PAX then did 3 minute of max Merkins to a ditty that Rolling Stone magazine ranked #480 on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. Standard was to exceed double the number of burpees that the PAX did. PAX did a snowy army crawl as a palate cleaner.
PAX finished the Sabotage trilogy with max air squats to a song called “Sabotage.” Standard was to exceed triple the number of burpees did in the first round. PAX did another snowy arm crawl to ensure body temperature remained within range.
PAX circled back up and then sabotaged the PAX to the right of them by giving them an exercise to do all out for a minute. Monkey humpers, line jumpers, flutter kicks were popular choices. PAX then passed the exercise in the other direction so that they could return the favor.
Maraschino passed the Q to Spam whose veins were still coursing with Boomaritas. Instead of providing the PAX with an Aussie Party Platter, he reminded us that today is the 35th anniversary of the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. PAX split into two groups for four corners of remembrance.
Corner 1: First group ran while second group did 1 Double-Merkin Double-Jump Burpee, 2 Dry Docks, 8 Monkey Humpers (1/28 for today’s date and the date of the tragedy). Repeat until first group returns. Switch and repeat.
Bear Crawl to Corner 2
Corner 2: 1 Double-Merkin Double-Jump Burpee, 9 Air Squats, 8 Merkins, 6 Overhead Claps Cadence Count (for 1986, the year of the tragedy). Repeat until first group returns. Switch and repeat.
Mosey to Corner 3
Corner 3: 11 Mountain Climbers, 3 Burpees Double Merkin Double Jumps, 9 SSH (for 11:39 am, the time of the tragedy). Repeat until first group returns. Switch and repeat.
Mosey to Corner 4 as Group (It was at this point that Spam realized Maraschino had SABOTAGED his portion of the Q.)
Corner 4: Red leads us in 73 Flutters (for the 73 seconds between takeoff to the explosion, which, if you read about it, wasn’t technically an explosion)
COT: Prayer Requests and Announcements (so many that 2 PAX had to leave); Name-o-rama; Spam took us out with a reminder of how precious life is and that the future is not promised to us.
Announcements:
- This Saturday, following TBR, there will be an opportunity to move furniture at the Compass Center (9 am) and then help a PAX move (noon). Details, including what lunch will be provided, will be on Slack.
- Singlet will be hard launching Farm Boys at Carrboro Farmers Market this coming Tuesday.
- Bump Draft is starting Rucking on Ice on Thursdays in February.
- Bump Draft is also re-launching AMRAP starting next Thursday.
- Vice discussed his religious objection to skinny dipping. (It was at this point that Vice realized had taken the Q to sabotage the site in anticipation of the February Thicket-Paradise Battle Royale).
By Motion, Paradise was adjourned to be reconvened at Coffeeteria.
Moleskin #1:
When preparing his portion of the Q, Maraschino Googled “sabotage workout” and was barraged by articles listing numerous ways people sabotage their workout regimen. He realized that one of the hidden beauties of F3 is that it has so many built-in mechanisms to prevent this self-sabotage. The biggest one is that we hold each other accountable to be stronger, better, and more resilient men.
Moleskin #2:
As he was removing the American flag shovel, Green Acres had an interesting encounter with a walker. Without delving into the merits of that discussion, it was a helpful reminder of the things we can communicate to strangers without saying a word. More importantly, it is an opportunity for us to think of the assumptions we make about other people (based on how they look, what they wear, or how they act) without ever taking the opportunity to get to know them. We cannot erase those assumptions or biases, but we can challenge them, and we can refuse to let them dictate how we treat one another. Every misunderstanding is an opportunity to converse, to get to know each other more deeply, and to recognize our diversity and our common humanity.
Aye.