Per wikipedia (cross checked, certified and verified by highly trained interwebs intelligentsia): “As with other mustelids of relatively large size…honey badgers are notorious for their strength, ferocity and toughness. They have been known to savagely and fearlessly attack almost any kind of animal when escape is impossible, reportedly repelling much larger predators such as lions.” “Bee stings, porcupine quills, animal bites,…” jackhammers, wrecking balls, hydraulic presses, .50 cal bullets, The Undertaker’s Tombstone Piledriver…all don’t mean jack sh*t to the honey badger. “If horses, cattle, Cape buffalos,” a truckasaurus, or even a rogue band of meth crazed Juggalos intrude upon a honey badger’s space, well, then too bad, so sad, they all gonna die. This nasty disposition and general give-no-f*ckery has led to it being designated as a creature of “least concern” by anyone or anything worth a doggone.
D*mn, honey badger. You mad, bro? Why you gotta be so coarse? What has nature done to make you so darn onery? Well, I know the truth. I feel you, brother. You and I are kin. It’s hard up in here, but all you want, all you need, is a little respect. A little understanding. And I am bringing the love, my ratel brother.
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Posted here a few weeks ago to do some recon. Got a lay of the land and quickly devised a game plan for my Q today, which was eventually scrapped. Every AO has a unique personality. I needed a plan that would best suit the PAX. Pulled up the site on Google Maps and was immediately drawn to this rather imposing triangular monument just north of City Hall. It beckoned me with a Stonehenge like mystique. It stared into my soul like the Eye of Sauron. It tempted me in with revelation of wisdom and enlightenment like the Illuminati. It pulled me in with the force of a massive black hole. I knew what was at stake here. The darkness was ancient and powerful. A druid like force. A hunger deep and insatiable. To slay the beast, we needed to summon the give-no-f*ckery of the honey badger and ply this dark force with the one thing that it desired above all else…the Golden Calf.
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INTRO
Drove by a bad *ss EC ruck crew coming in strong and hot. Kudos, brothers.
Expected 8-12, Got 24. Honey Badger showing up big time today. #honeybadgerDOcare
Greetings/Fist Bumps/Bro Hugs. Lots of new faces. Lots of old friends.
One Minute Warning
No FNGs. All Professionals.
0530. Let’s Roll.
WARM UP
Circle up. Time to summon the Golden Calf.
Start off springing off the toes. Do that for a 50+ count. Transition immediately to a shuffle, staying on the toes. Another 50+ count. Transition immediately to boxer shuffle, hopping foot to foot…again staying on the toes. Time to incorporate the Shoeshine (fast, vertical, counter clockwise hand rotations) while continuing to bounce on the toes. Do this for another 50+ count…countdown 3, 2, 1…right into…
SSH, x101 IC (h/t to Coco, who originally had the Q today, but swapped with YHC due to his relo)
Take it to the Rotary (Triangle Park just N of City Hall). Travel by Toe Shuffle Step Outs (feels funny…looks d*mn funny)…stay bouncing on the toes! Traveled a hundred yards or so to the corner of City Hall & Liberty.
Moseyed N to the Tri Park just past E Chapel Hill St (Thanks Knope for navigation!)
MAIN EVENT
Gathered at the SE point of the Triangle. Had the PAX partner up. Size matters (even when it don’t, it do). Introduced the workout for today: “Slay The Beast.”
Concept is straightforward. The Rotary has 3 sides, all about 50 yards long. We will be triangulating this park 2x. There will be 6 modes of travel, traversing the length of each side. We will stop as a group at each of the 3 points (a total of 6 stops) and perform 6 exercises for 6 reps at each stop.
Exercises/reps involved the following:
- Tuck Jump Burpees (x6, SC)
- Mountain Climbers (x6, IC)
- Jump Lunges (x6, 1-2 L/R = 1 rep)
- World’s Worst Merkins (x6, 1 Diamond, 1 Standard, 1 Wide = 1 rep)
- WWIIs (x6, SC)
- Chilcutt Step Throughs (x6, 1-2 L/R = 1 rep)
Modes of travel:
- Wheelbarrow, Partner 1
- Wheelbarrow, Partner 2
- Buddy Carry, Partner 1
- Buddy Carry, Partner 2
- Heelbarrow (Crab Walk Wheelbarrow), Partner 1
- Heelbarrow, Partner 2
We performed the first stop set of 6 exercises as a group, with YHC leading to make sure we all were on the same page on how to count out the reps. The next 5 stops were OYO, except the final set of World’s Worst Merkins which YHC led coz they were so beloved among the PAX this morning. Modifications for Wheel & Heel Barrows included Bear Crawls, Lunge Walks, and Crab Walks.
This was deceptively tough. Kudos to the Honey Badger brothers for giving it 100%. Strong work by all.
Thank you to Happy Gilmore who kept a vigilant lookout and made sure all the PAX were clear of morning traffic around the park. Safety is paramount. Great leadership.
Beast slain. Time to take it back to the StartEx. Got in formation, aaaaaaaaanannnnnnnnnddddddd….back to Toe Shuffle Step Outs…the whole way back, a few hundred yards this time. Looking fresh, brothers!
Circle back up @ StartEx. Is it time for Name-o-Rama??? Nope/Knope!
I know what the Honey Badger wants. I know what the Honey Badger needs. Honey Badger is not done yet. PAX were feeling it…it’s Johnny Drama time.
Mary (Calf Edition)
Johnny Dramas, x50 IC (h/t Happy Gilmore)…Immediately into…
Coco Special, SSH, x101 IC…then immediately back into…
Johnny Dramas, x25.
And, that’s all folks. Boom. We done here. H*llyeah, Badger brothers. Bad *ss.
COT/BOM
Announcements
- Happy Gilmore: Invited the PAX for post workout 2ndF @ Joe Van Gogh. Awesome cold brew.
Name-o-Rama
BOM
YHC took us out in prayer. First and foremost grateful to our Father who has given us this beautiful morning and the ability to get out and fellowship with our brothers. Grateful for this great gift of life and our bodies, minds, spirits. Let us be beacons of light, shining upon our brothers. Help us to reach out to those who are in need, as we all know, as men, we are apt to isolate ourselves and go about it alone. Grant us wisdom to go about our day to accomplish all that you want us to accomplish, to love and cherish our families with all of our hearts, and to be good, strong examples to our friends, neighbors, colleagues. Blessings of peace, health and safety as go forth into our day and this weekend. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Big love to my Honey Badger brothers. What an awesome AO and amazing group of guys. Feel very blessed and grateful for the opportunity to serve you fine men this morning. Big thanks to the SiteQs Happy Gilmore and Knope for the great work they are doing, and for all the PAX for staying true to the culture, the principles and for showing up strong every time. Beasts, one and all. Until next time, brothers. Aye!