Grunge Churham Q Count To Date:

1. ThickBush (1/6)
2. Hare Ball (1/7)
3. Strollin’ Rone (1/14)
4. Pooty Tang (1/17)
5. AM-SCRAM (1/23)
6. Moosenlauf (1/30)
7. Sugar Walls (2/21)
8. The Cack (2/24)
9. Funkus Amongus (2/26)
10. F*ck da Beav (2/28)
11. The Big Louse (3/11)
12. Deep Throat (3/17) *
13. Honey Vag (3/20) *
14. How’s da Peen? (4/8) *
15. Pubic Itch (4/13) *
16. A F*ck Ton (4/17) *
17. Lidsville (4/20) *
18. The Pearl Necklace (Today) *

* Virtual Qs

OK, so I want to start off by saying that when I make a mistake, I will do the right thing and ‘fess up to it straight away. No hemming or hawing. No b.s. excuses. I admit my fault, accept the repercussions, and vow not to repeat. It is the only decent and appropriate thing to do.

So, what was this mistake, you ask? Well, in preparing the game plan for today’s Earth Day workout, I cobbled together a few mini workouts that I have used in my past Q’s thinking they would fit nice and neatly into a square 45 min smasharoo. Well, that did not happen, at least for YHC. This thing went quite a bit longer than regulation. Now, typically, when this occurs in a live workout, I would simply note the time remaining, call a mental audible, and move on to the next or final thing – of course, finishing up right at 45 min on the dot – and the PAX would be none the wiser. Not so with these virtual Q’s as these must be posted in advance.

So, cobains to my Pearly brothers. I thought I had things in the bag as I progressed through the Jack Webb Pyramids portion of the workout, but the Cadence Count for the second exercise in each couplet took far longer than I recalled. As I completed the first round of Jack Webbs, I saw that I only had maybe a minute left. I decided to dispense with the second round and move on to the Mary portion – even then, my final workout time ended up being 52:53 – or 7:53 too long. Truth, I was tired as I completed a full Murph (slick, no vest) as EC before the main event, so I dragged a bit during the Barchetta McBernicides. But, again, no excuses. My bad. I decided the most appropriate penalty would be to stay after and dutifully complete the second round of Jack Webbs, as I had Rx’d in my original Slack post. Which I did. That ended up taking 14:59. Noted – for future reference.

Now, having said all of the above. Is this such a bad thing? I mean, c’mon, it is Earth Day – and man, oh man, the weather this morning was bee-yew-tee-FUL. Honest, perhaps the workout took longer for YHC because I ended up just sort of enjoying being out – taking in the awesome scene. Gorgeous blue sky, radiant sunlight, nice cool breeze. Beautiful green grass – trees swaying gently with the winds. Birds singing. Truth is, this crazy time of C-19 quarantine has resulted in a remarkable cleansing of our earth – many cities experiencing a huge reduction of smog and air pollution, rivers, lakes and streams running clear and clean, animals and wildlife reclaiming locales due to the absence of traffic and crowds. Nature renewing, blooming…thriving. Could this be the healthiest, most “earthy” Earth Day in recent history??

Perhaps so. And I for one, chose to celebrate it by being outside and rolling about in the fields and taking in the sun and breathing deep in all of its earthly glory. Even if it was longer than the standard 45. Coz, one day, the quarantine will be over – and us humans will go back to our old ways – and all of this will likely be nothing more than a faint and distant memory.

EC

Slick Murph (sans 20# weight vest)

• Pull Ups, x25
• Merkins, x50
• BW Squats, x75
• 800 Meter/Half Mile Run

Perform 4 rounds of the above. Partition the PT portion as desired/required. YHC chose to do 2 sets of 10/20/30 and 1 set of 5/10/15 per round. This worked out well for me. (YHC time: 30:03)

— 00 — 00 — 00 —

OK, EC completo – now, for our feature presentation…

WARM UP

• SSH, x25 Cadence
• Merkins, x25 Single
• BW Squats, x25 Single
• Burpees, x25 Single

MAIN EVENT

A) Yogi Paints The Lines

Use Parking Lot spaces, or functional equivalent. Start with a single merkin at the bottom of a parking space line. Bear crawl up to the top. Side plank walk left to the next line. Crawl bear to the bottom. Hit 2 merkins. Repeat bear crawl, side plank walk, crawl bear sequence. Hit 3 merkins. Repeat, etc…until you get to 5 merkins. Repeat the entire exercise going the opposite direction (if you went left to start, move right this time) starting with 5 merkins, descend the ladder until you end with a single merkin.

B) Barchetta McBernicides

• Run 25 yards. 25 Burpees, Single. Bernie Run back to start. 25 Burpees, Single.
• Run 50 yards. 50 Merkins, Single. Bernie Run back to start. 50 Merkins, Single.
• Run 75 yards. 75 Mountain Climbers, Cadence. Bernie Run back to start. 75 Mountain Climbers, Cadence.
• Run 100 yards. 100 SSH, Cadence. Bernie Run back to start. 100 SSH, Cadence. 

C) Jack Webb Pyramids

Use the following rep count scheme to ladder up and down the pyramid for each couplet of exercises: 1/4, 2/8, 3/12, 4/16, 5/20 – back down, 4/16, 3/12, 2/8, 1/4. First exercise is always Single Count, second exercise is always Cadence Count.

• Merkins & Mountain Climbers
• Burpees & BW Squats
• WWIIs & Flutter Kicks

Rx is 2 rounds of the above (YHC note: So, as detailed above, as I was finishing up the first round of these pyramids, I saw that I was already about 44 minutes into the workout, so I opted to dispense with the second round and move on to Mary. Workout still went long. I chose to do a second round after the workout anyways, bc as they say, if you Q it, you better do it)

MARY

• Box Cutters, x25 Cadence
• LBCs, x25 Cadence
• Leg Lifts, x25 Single
• Hollow Man Series, x12 Left, x12 Right (start in Hollow Hold position. Hold for 3 count. Roll over to the right side onto belly into the Superman position. Hold for 3 count. Roll back over. Repeat entire sequence rolling to the left side, etc.)

COT/BOM

Announcements

• Happy Earth Day. Get out and enjoy some time outdoors. Think of ways you all can continue to respect and take care of the environment after the quarantine is over.

Name-o-Rama

BOM

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” ~ G.B. Shaw

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~ M. Mead

“The Earth will not continue to offer its harvest, except with faithful stewardship. We cannot say we love the land and then take steps to destroy it for use by future generations.” ~ John Paul II

Hope you all are doing well, enjoying time with your loved ones, and staying healthy. Be well, stay safe. Peace, brothers.