Sometime around this time of year last year, right about when I started to ramp up my walk with F3, I had the privilege of becoming acquainted with Fat Cat and Goat Cheese, two of the OG’est of OGs in Chatham. I mean, these two are so OG, they were posting with Marky Mark back before there was even an AO established in Briar Chapel. I don’t recall the exact sequence of events, but at some point, our mumble chatter turned to trail running and the next thing I know, the three of us came to the conclusion that it was imperative that we head out on a dirt bag rampage out by the Haw River. The memory of that experience remains vivid. It was Land of The Lost on meth. It was Lord of The Flies on acid. It was HR Pufnstuf on pufnstuff. We forged our way deep into the dark recesses of the woods and came upon an ancient clearing where wild beasts were sacrificed, a burnt offering was made, and a blood ritual was performed as mandated by local lore, to create and seal an unbreakable bond of brotherhood.
So, it was unfortunate indeed, when our brother Fat Cat suffered an injury at a Spartan event that ended up taking him out for an extended leave. The journey toward recovery was unexpectedly long and arduous. Many would often inquire about his progress and prognosis. I, too, missed my brother and would regularly reach out to him and Goat Cheese, who provided me with updates on any new developments. Many months went by. I was glad to finally catch up with my brother at our year end F3 holiday party where it seemed that his return to the gloom would not be too far off. Then, recently out of the blue, Goat Cheese messaged me with great news…Fat Cat is starting to run again! We arranged to meet up to do a few trail runs, which came with great success. I asked my brother when he was planning to come and join us out in the gloom, to which he replied, “One day, soon.” Well, brothers, I am happy to say, today was that day.
I wanted Fat Cat’s return to be something memorable and special. As luck would have it, I had the Q at the Big House this morning, and thought it would be fun to surprise the PAX with a classic “needle scratch” moment. The plan was that I would start the warm up, business as usual, then, Fat Cat and Goat would bum rush the stage, crash the workout, and then Fat Cat would take over. Perfect. Next, I needed to come up with a workout befitting such a momentous occasion. Like I said earlier, Fat Cat is one of the true OG Chatham guys, so I figured, what better way is there to welcome back an OG brother then with a Dirty McDeuce, a classic OG workout from none other than F3 co-founder, OBT. Given the nice rainstorm we had yesterday, I knew the grassy roundabout was going to be really nice and muddy…plus, I wanted to up the nasty factor a bit on the workout, so I sh*t smacked it up with a bear crawl/crawl bear burpee/partner merkin ladder (inspired by The Gambler) to make things a bit extra dirty…dare I say, filthy, or dookie filthy even. Thus, the stage is set for Fat Cat & the Filthy McDookie. Here’s how it played:
ACT 1/SCENE 1
Big House Parking Lot
Met the PAX at the AO Parking Lot. Fist bumps + greetings. Led the group out to the roundabout to circle up.
ACT 1/SCENE 2
The Roundabout
Circle up. Greet a few more PAX. Called One Minute Warning.
Intro. No FNGs. Proceed with Warm Up
SSH, x47 IC
ACT 1/SCENE 3
The Takeover
As I am leading SSH, Fat Cat and Goat Cheese emerge from the gloom, bum rush the circle crashing the workout. Fat Cat assumes the Q as I relinquish the con and join the PAX in the circle.
ACT 1/SCENE 4
Fat Cat’s Reign
Warm Up continues
SSH, x10 IC
Imperial Walkers, x10 IC
Willie Mayes Hayes, x10 IC
Forward Arm Circles, x10 IC immediately into Reverse, x10 IC
Windmills, x10 IC
Merkins, x10 IC
ACT 2/SCENE 1
Filthy McDookie (McDeuce, with a hard C, long E)
Fat Cat hands me back the con. I have PAX partner up, form 2 lines. The classic Dirty McDeuce involves 3 sets of exercises, an upper body, a core, and a lower body, each x12. The super set is then followed by a run. I figure I would filthy up the workout a bit by replacing the run with a 2-12/12-2 burpee/partner merkin ladder + bear crawl/crawl bear sequence.
Round One: Standard Merkins x12 IC, WWIIs x12 SC, Air Squats x12 IC. Perform 2 burpees OYO. Bear crawl to meet partner in center. Perform 12 partner merkins. Crawl bear back to respective start line.
Round Two: Dry Docks x12 IC, LBCs x12 IC, Jump Lunges x12 on my 1-2. Perform 4 burpees OYO. Bear crawl. 10 partner merkins. Crawl bear.
Round Three: Werkins x12 IC, Flutter Kicks x12 IC, Tuck Jumps x12 SC. Perform 6 burpees OYO. Bear crawl. 8 partner merkins. Crawl bear.
ACT 2/SCENE 2
Intermission
Feeling the need to take a little break, I called out 10 burpees, OYO
ACT 2/SCENE 3
Resume
Round Four: Overhead Claps, Heels To Heaven, Mountain Climbers, all x12 IC. Perform 8 burpees OYO. Bear crawl. 6 partner merkins. Crawl bear.
Round Five: Diamond Merkins, Box Cutters, Smurf Jacks, all x12 IC. Perform 10 burpees OYO. Bear crawl. 4 partner merkins. Crawl bear.
Round Six: Carolina Wine Mixers (Start in Plank, Mahktar N’diayes, Merkin combo), American Hammers, Monkey Humpers, all x12 IC. Perform 12 burpees OYO. Bear crawl. 2 partner merkins. Crawl bear.
ACT 2/SCENE 4
Reprise
Finding the need for a gentle close, I called out 10 burpees, OYO.
ACT 3/SCENE 1
Usain Bolts
Fellowship run to the intersection of Endor & Great Ridge (bottom of the hill) for a round of Usain Bolt.
Partner Group 1: Sprints to top of hill & back. Partner Group 2: Performs WWIIs.
Flapjack
Partner Group 2: Sprints to top of hill & back. Partner Group1: Performs Monkey Humpers.
Fellowship Run back to the AO Parking Lot as a group. Circle Up.
ACT 3/SCENE 2
Mary
The Rambler Special: Corpse Pose, deep breathing/mediation. 1 minute.
Ring of Fire, Merkin x5 per PAX.
ACT 3/SCENE 3
COT/BOM
Announcements/Prayer Requests
- Zook: Prayer request for Hal’s father who was taken to ER this morning.
- Boyardee: 3rd F, Ronald McDonald House, June 3 @ 8AM. Looking for 3 more volunteers. Please contact him to sign up and for details.
- Mothman: Prayer request for his cousin who is battling cancer.
Name-o-Rama
BOM
I closed in prayer of thankfulness for the F3 brotherhood and the opportunity to meet in the gloom to workout and fellowship. Thankful for Fat Cat’s recovery and for his return and continued progress. Prayed for all our brothers who are currently out on injured reserve. Prayed for their continued recovery so that they may rejoin us soon. Asked for help so that we may reach out to them and let them know that we are thinking of them and to offer up assistance, if needed. Requested guidance and direction to seek out and reach out to those brothers out there who could benefit from F3, from the fellowship, fitness and faith. Prayed for Hal’s father and Mothman’s cousin, asked for the hand of healing to be upon them so that they may return to good health soon. Asked that we all be blessed with strength, guidance and motivation to be healthy and successful in our day and in our walk. Amen.
Thank you, again, my brothers. Until next time, Aye!