First, I want to clarify what is meant by the title. Don’t get any wrong ideas, fellas. Absolutely no disrespect or disparagement intended for Chinese food. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I love mackin’ on some ono Chinese grinds. Similarly, I have no ill will or disrespect for Crossfit. I get that many folks take issue with the lack of proper form by certain practitioners, but with regards to general workout style, well, if you are familiar with my Q “M.O.”, you know that I tend to gravitate towards the “push the heart rate, HIIT” type of workout, so I would probably fall right in line with those that regularly enjoy giving it a go with the likes of Angie, Fran, Murph, Filthy, etc.

But here’s the curious thing with Crossfit and Chinese food. These don’t tend to be delicate, genteel affairs. No, folks who partake tend to binge and grunt through that sh*t for all they got, go full tilt, then collapse in an ugly, sweaty, messy heap, heart or gut ready to burst, totally gassed, and think and swear that it’s gonna be a while, a very long, long while, before they ever do that again…only to find that about an hour or so later, they start sensing the sweet, tantalizing fingers of craving massaging the hunger zone of the brain, and feel the need to indulge in another round. Uh, excuse me…but WTF????

Which brings me to this morning. I signed up for The Skunk last week when I noticed there was no Q for today and I had an open week. It has been a while since visiting my brothers in the Northern Province, and I definitely wanted to get another Hillsborough Q under my belt before school started back up, so figured, hey, this Wednesday is Best Wednesday. Got working on my workout game plan a couple days ago when I received an incoming missive from Mr. Toast. He said the Skunk Bros were making their way through the F3 Greenwood sponsored IronPAX Challenge and asked if I would mind leading them through it this week. Well, hmm…I hadn’t done either the Week 1 or 2 Challenges, so figured I probably should complete at least one of these, so quickly agreed without knowing what was on the menu for Week 3.

Toast soon shot me the challenge deets for this round…I carefully looked through the list…Burpee Jump Overs…ok, not so sure what that is?? Hand Release Merks, yuppers. Goblet Squats, check. Leg Raises with Coupon OOH, all righty…Broad Jump out and back, copy that. I went online to see if there were any examples of the Burpee Jump Over, and sure enough there were several YouTube vids on this. Standard burpee, then box jump, off the other side, another burpee…rinse and repeat. Very much a Crossfit move. In fact, re-reading the totality, it seemed very much like a Crossfit WOD. (Actually, to be honest, it sorta sounded like one of the Greenwood brothers may have spent some time in the seedier sections of the interwebs before cobbling together this week’s Challenge. I mean, BJOs?? Hand releases?? Gob and squat?? Legs up with a chest hold?? Broad jumping?? tsk tsk…). I felt the exercises…burpees, squats, leg raises, broad jumps…they were all kinda right in my wheelhouse, also. So, hey, game on, Skunk brothers. Let’s do this.

PRE-WORKOUT

Arrived to find Toast scanning the AO Parking Lot. Coming up from the South, I came in using the first entrance I saw, completely unaware that there was actually another entrance north of Orange High School that served as the actual meet up lot. Toast explained that the normal meet up lot was blocked off for some reason and wanted to make sure everyone would make their way to this lot. Sure enough, soon, cars started to file in.

Given today’s Challenge workout, we discussed options for location. Toast suggested we take it to the track, although there would be far less light, the track had a more forgiving surface than the hard, cold, rocky asphalt of the parking lot. As we had some time, I went up to do some recon. It was indeed, quite dark, but upon returning, Buffay felt adamant that the lack of light would not be an issue. It seemed all the PAX were in agreement, so we chose to grab our respective CMUs (“concrete masonry units”) and make our way up to the track. Nickelback rolled up just in time as we circled up for greetings, intros, and count-o-rama.

We were 9 strong. No FNGs today. All professionals.

Instructions on the Week 3 IronPAX Challenge were read aloud and carefully explained to the group. Demos of the exercises were performed to ensure we all knew what needed to be done. I measured out 10 yards for the broad jump portion of the Challenge and placed cones and a light at the turnaround. Once everyone was comfortable with the work ahead of us, I proceeded with our warm up.

WARM UP

400 Meter Run
Lateral Line Jumps, x15 IC
Big *ss Sun Gods, F/R, x10 IC
Mountain Climbers, x10 IC

IRONPAX CHALLENGE, WEEK 3

Details

There are three components to this week’s Challenge: (1) A descending number of Burpee Jump Overs, or BJOs (starting with 15, then down 1 rep with each round, so 14, then 13, 12, etc…); (2) followed by 50 reps of a prescribed exercise, which included the following: (a) Hand Release Merkins, (b) Goblet Squat (squat while holding CMU in crush goblet hold out in front of chest); (c) Leg Raises while lying on back, CMU held up in chest hold, with arms locked out; and (3) finishing each round with a set of broad jumps, 10 yards out, and 10 yards back. Rx for CMU is 25 lbs.

A quick explanation of the “Burpee Jump Over.” As detailed in the F3 Greenwood video, PAX had option to perform lateral jump overs or front/back jump overs. Most, if not all, in our group chose the lateral jump overs. PAX lays the CMU flat, or long side down, and stands beside it. PAX performs standard burpee, then must do a lateral jump over the CMU, then perform another standard burpee on the other side, then lateral jumps back over the CMU, and perform another standard burpee. Rinse and repeat for the prescribed number of reps.

PAX were to perform the following for 30 minutes, AMRAP (no prescribed rest period, only as needed):

15 BJOs
50 Hand Release Merkins
Broad Jump, 10 Yards Out & Back

14 BJOs
50 Goblet Squats (using CMU)
Broad Jump, 10 Yards Out & Back

13 BJOs
50 Leg Raises with CMU chest hold
Broad Jump, 10 Yards Out & Back

This cycle continues, with descending # of BJOs (12, 11, 10, 9, etc) and 50 reps of prescribed exercises (HR Merks, then Gob Squats, then Leg Raise w/ Coup), and finishing each round with Broad Jumps.

** If the above explanation of what we did this am is not clear, refer to the description & video put out by F3 Greenwood. It’s all over the d*mn place. Can’t miss it.

YHC made a brief announcement just prior to launch. We are all adults here. There are no proctors. It is you, your integrity, and your conscience. This will be done on the honor system. We are solely responsible for our own rep counts and adherence to proper form and requirements. With that, PAX lined up and gave each other space to perform the Burpee Jump Overs. We had two timers. Official launch: 0544.

Time was called 0614. YHC crumpled into fetal position, drowning in a pool of my own blood, sweat and tears. Heart exploding. After a bit of time to recover from that heinous torture, I mustered the strength to get to my feet and congratulate my Skunk brothers on a job well done. Each and every one of the guys gave it all they had. We were all pretty smoked, but nonethless, there was much to rejoice. Fist bumps and bro hugs all around in celebration of the strong work by all. As God is our witness, all PAX crushed this Challenge and performed the prescribed exercises with flawless execution and form, great vim and vigor, and awesome spirit and heart. More importantly, there was a ton of encouragement amongst the PAX as each brother cheered each other on to keep pushing and digging deep. If the IronPAX Challenge was based on the principle of “Iron Sharpens Iron,” I can bear testimony that all of us, this fine group of men, emerged from this test sharper, stronger, and better as a result of the bonds of brotherhood.

Mary

Much anguish and disappointment amongst the PAX, as it become apparent that we had run out of time for Mary.

Well done, brothers. Cheers.

COT/BOM

Announcements

• Grunge: Shout out and kudos to the Site Qs (Nickelback, Buffay, Toast McQueen) and the awesome brothers of the Northern Province. The bond of fellowship and brotherhood is quite palpable here. I feel it each time I visit. I know that folks in Churham speak of the Hillsborough brethren with much admiration and respect. Keep up the great work, brothers!
• Nickelback: Please check Slack for details coming up on a 3rdF opportunity to help a member of the Hillsborough community move belongings from a storage space to her home. Let’s make this a move ruck, brothers! Wear’em, if you got’em!

Name-o-Rama

BOM

I took us out in prayer. Thankful for the beautiful morning and for the brothers who came out to challenge themselves this morning. We honor our God and our bodies each time we post in the gloom. Let us not forget the amazing gift of life and our bodies, our temples, and make sure to honor and respect ourselves and our temples each and every day. Asked for guidance as we go about our day, to be successful in all our endeavors, to greet and meet our colleagues, friends, and neighbors with respect, kindness and fellowship and to return home and lavish our wives, partners, and children with love, gratitude and support. That we may grow better, wiser and stronger as men in every way, with all of our heart, mind, mind, and spirit. Amen.

Thank you again, Skunk brothers, for an awesome morning. Have a great day, all. Until next time, aye!

** Post Script: Hey, brother! Glad you chose to stick around and read this far. So, as the brothers started to leave to go about their day, I got the opportunity to hang out and chat a bit with Nickelback and Toast. We reflected on the various aspects of this morning’s Challenge, and shared our displeasure over the exercises (any exercise can be truly horrible if you require 50 reps!). Personally, I was still quite smoked from the workout. Nick & Toast shared their thoughts about Weeks 1 and 2, and I responded that after today’s workout, I don’t regret at all not participating in the prior two weeks. I though to myself how like many all out Crossfit like workouts, that thing totally kicked my butt. We chatted a bit more and then wished each other well and parted ways. On the drive home, I thought about how brutal those 30 minutes of work were, how painful it was to push beyond the limits of total physical gluttony…the lactic acid buildup, the gasping for breath, and the mental breakdown…and how I was going to go home, take a nice, cool shower, get some calories in and chill, perhaps take a rest day tomorrow…that is, until I got to the Chatham County line, and started to feel oddly hungry again…WTF. Lol. I am telling you, brothers. Crossfit is the Chinese food of workouts. Truth.