Spam, Catskill, Balki, ½ of Harbaugh, BumpDraft, HomeGrownBerry, TPS Reports, Wiley
YHC is an anal-retentive planner who generally plans his Q’s a week in advance. This week was no exception as I prepared an homage to Tenacious D and to the hardest workout I’ve Q-ed. There was to be music and coupons and herring and jazzercise.
However, last night as YHC was dreaming about getting to sweat with BumpDraft and Balki (the two HCs), I heard a voice calling. It was a pestering, nagging voice, but then my wife finally fell asleep. I tossed and turn, but with the help of my good friend Evan Williams, I was finally about to fall asleep. In my dream, this guy spoke to me kinda like Jim Morrison in Wayne’s World 2 with Spam as the naked Indian.
He told me the workout I had planned disrespected the cinderblocks as cinderblocks and Jack Black do not mix. He said it was time to kill the metal. I woke up with a start and had to plan the Q from scratch. Instead, I decided to carpe diem and let my cinderblock guide me.
7 of us got started with SSH, Arm Circles and Manaforts with an eighth showing up in the middle.
For the main event, we mosey-ed to the track picking up our workout partner on the way. These sexy workout partners are 16x8x8 hunks of burning passion, 35 pounds of virility. Mine was named Russell. He told me we should take our blocks for a lap around the track.
We did a pyramid: After each set we would take the total number of reps we did and do that many lunge walks. After the lunge walks we recovered with a lap around the track giving our cinderblocks a chance to rest as well.
Set 1: 5 blockees, 5 cadence curls and 5 star crunches followed by 15 lunge walks with our new workout partners. Then a lap sans coupon.
At this point, Harbaugh was really developing feelings for Colonel Brandon (his cinderblock). He decided it would be best if he went home to his family. Then there were seven.
Set 2: 10 blockees, 10 cadence curls and 10 star crunches followed by 30 lunge walks. Then a lap sans coupon.
Set 3: 15 blockees, 15 cadence curls and 15 star crunches followed by 45 lunge walks. Then a lap sans coupon.
Set 4: 20 blockees, 20 cadence curls and 20 star crunches followed by 60 lunge walks with our new workout partners. Then a lap sans coupon.
At this point, Russell was bored of this and decided it was time to go back down the pyramid. We introduced some new exercises.
Set 5: 15 coupon squats, 15 overhead press and 15 coupon, cadence LBCs followed by 45 shuffles with our workout partners, half with left foot first and half with right foot first. Then a lap sans coupon. I was really getting sick of Russell by this point.
Fortunately, I was distracted by Balki’s observation that his cinderblock was a metaphor for his wife. I’m not sure where he was going with that but appreciated BumpDraft’s exposition on how his cinderblock was his very own Martin Burney – weighing him down, not supporting him, being so-so-so demanding without ever saying anything positive.
Set 5: 10 coupon squats, 10 overhead press and 10 coupon, cadence LBCs followed by 30 shuffles. Then a lap sans coupon.
By this point Russell and all the other cinderblocks were getting exhausted so we took them back to their home. Before we put them away, we had one more special moment with them. As mentioned above when we started today, there were only 7 of us posting. We celebrated that there were eight of us for while by doing 5 more blockees with our new friends.
We mosey-ed back to the AO and enjoyed a pleasant Mary without cinderblocks: Flutterkicks, Reverse Crunches, Pointer Dogs and Australian Snow Angels.
During COT we celebrated the day, our cinderblocks and the time we had together (PAX and cinderblocks). It was quite an overwhelming morning and I need a break from Russell…depending on what BumpDraft has in store for next week’s “BumpDraft’s Animal House F3 2 Year Anniversary Bonanza” (BDAHAB for short). SYITG.