This week students, educators, and staff are heading back to school in a manner none could have predicted.
This may be the most bizarre start to a school year since 1995 when a childish and spoiled 27-year-old heir to a Fortune 500 company had to complete all 12 grades in two-week intervals to prove he is competent enough to manage the family company after his father, retiring tycoon Brian Madison, loses confidence in his son due to his days drinking with friends, creating disturbances, and being obnoxious(quite a stretch for Adam Sandler to portray so accurately-Bravo!).
To replicate the whirlwind of Billy Madison’s overdue academic achievement, YHC knew we couldn’t waste time; we didn’t have the 89 minute run time of the film, so we had to get to it:
Warmup
SSH x 12
Imperial Walker x 12
Good Mornings x 12 (with a clap as infectious as COVID19)
Arm circles, big&small, forward&reverse
Willy Mayes Hayes x 12
The PAX moseyed to the school bus parking lot, which should now be referred to as The Farley.
**DISCLAIMER TIME** I was given the opportunity to Q only a day or two prior so to continue with the back-to-school theme, I did my best substitute teacher impersonation….and brought a whole stack of worksheets for the ME!
THE THANG
The worksheets were actually “1st day of school” sheets for each school year, K-12. Each contained an exercise and a Billy Madison trivia question.
The PAX would perform 12 of the prescribed exercises then take 2 laps around The Farley, symbolizing the 2 weeks Billy Madison got to complete each grade. Upon returning, we would advance to the next grade IF we got the trivia question correct.
In school we all heard that the things we learned were building blocks, to make the next tougher concept easier to understand. The same goes here; once you complete a grade level, you don’t just move on and forget what you learned, you incorporate it! (Example: Once in 3rd grade, you do the Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd AND 3rd grade exercises. This adds up…)
Kindergarten: MERKIN
What was Billy’s favorite lunch treat? Snack Pack Pudding
1st Grade: SQUAT
What Animal did Billy see when drunk? Penguin
2nd Grade:LBC IC
What did Billy set on fire? Bag of dog poop
3rd Grade:HR MERKIN
Who was Billy’s 3rd grade teacher…and crush? Veronica Vaughan
4th Grade:JUMP SQAUT
What was Billy’s spelling bee word? C-O-U-C-H
5th Grade:HELLO DOLLY IC
What was Billy’s favorite video game? Donkey Kong
6th Grade:WIDE MERKIN
What was the Madison family business? Hotels
7th Grade: MTN CLIMBERS IC
Who played the school bus driver? Chris Farley
(Around here we had to make a mild adjustment, similar to what poor Billy faced when he got accused of cheating. No longer did he get two weeks, but things got accelerated into the Academic Decathlon. We discontinued our laps around The Farley and replaced them with short sprints to the bike rack)
8th Grade: BOX CUTTER IC
What does Billy race down the restaurant wall? Pickles
9th Grade: SLOW MERKIN
What book got read to the 1st grade class? “The Puppy who Lost his Way”
10th Grade: LUNGE
What family gave Billy a hard time? The O’Doyles
11th Grade: FLUTTER KICKS IC
Why did Danny McGrath take Billy off of his hit list? He called and apologized
12th Grade:
Review time! 12 reps of each exercise again
Why did Billy we this pants? Everyone his age pees his pants! It’s the coolest! (We never even got to this question, lost to the cutting room floor as we ran out of time).
Mary
Stop looking at me, Swan! Did you not see the ab work included above?? Plus we were already 2 minutes over….and Veronica Vaughn>Mary
COT
-School supply donation spearheaded by Knope has been successful, but there are still needs.
-Prayers to Jellystone who was in need of some good thoughts today and to OPEC who has recently suffered the loss of a close family memeber.
-T-claps to Cosmo, who not only was our onsite Billy Madison expert, but the astute Site Q reminded YHC that there is a little something called Name-o-Rama that needs to be done! He also nailed this quote, verbatim:
“At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.“
-YHC took us out.
Reflection
It’s funny how the clearest thoughts can come to you standing in the COT, unable to breathe, dripping sweat, heart rate north of 100.
If this workout was on a whiteboard in my garage, it would’ve never gotten done.
Incorporating a ridiculous theme, going all in on a ridiculous theme, made this more than bearable. It was downright entertaining! Hopefully some of you felt the same way.
In our everyday lives (as in our workouts), having a little levity can go a long way in improving a difficult situation. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
As demonstrated in Billy’s Academic Decathlon, being well-rounded also serves us well. There is power in humor, but I think we are all due for a Weed-n-Feed educational/ historic Q to counteract Billy Madison.
Thanks for playing along. Thanks for allowing me to lead.
