This is why we can’t have nice things.

Wanted to treat the PAX to a Halloween-themed playlist while we cycled through stations. Was going great until about 0600 when Lunchlady Doris came screaming around the bend and ran over the speaker that was on the sidewalk. Now, why did I choose to put it over there as opposed to nearer to where the workout was happening in the parking spaces? Your guess is as good as mine. I was pretty pissed about this turn of events, but everyone else seemed to get a kick out of it, and it did lead to our FNG’s name, so that’s good.

YHC, Castaway and Weed got in a leisurely EC ruck during which weird animal facts were discussed. Cardiac showed up early to do whatever it is he does.

Welcomed our FNG, Grandpa Ninja’s 2.0 who is a student at NC State studying marketing who also works at Target on the side.

Standard warm up to include 5 burpees, then moseyed to far parking lot. Each PAX advised to grab a parking spot. The first parking spot was reserved for the timer: one PAX doing 15 burpees.

Other spaces were assigned exercises:

• SSH
• Plank jack
• Mountain climber
• Curl
• Rows
• Overhead press
• Merkin
• Dry docks
• LBC
• WWII
• Heels to Heaven
• Reverse lunge
• Lunge
• Weighted squat

Once burpee guy complete he runs to other end to start squat while everyone cycles down to do the next exercise in the next space. We got through three rounds, dropping down to 10 burpees in second round and 8 burpees in final round.

Here is the playlist. Believe we were on DMB’s Halloween when The Crunchening occurred.

• Enter Sandman – Metallica
• Bullet With Butterfly Wings – Smashing Pumpkins
• Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
• Mind Playing Tricks on Me – Geto Boys
• More Human Than Human – White Zombie
• Halloween (Live 2005) – Dave Matthews Band
• Superstition – Stevie Wonder
• Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon
• I Put a Spell on You – Nina Simone

Gathered up the sad remains of the speaker and returned to start for Mary, where YHC took out his frustrations on the PAX by administering 101 flutter kicks in cadence. Rage really keeps your mind off abdominal discomfort, as it turns out.

COT

• The Bull this Saturday.
• FNG named Blue Light Special both as a riff on his Target employment (K-Mart) and the fact that the little blue light on my poor smushed speaker continued to glow bravely even as it lay in pieces. RIP, speaker. We hardly knew ye.
• Floyd took us out, as YHC was not in a particularly godly state of mind.

MOLESKIN

Stuff happens. The good news is this definitely, certainly, 100% will not be brought up constantly for years to come. Glad to welcome Blue Light Special into the fold. Hope he didn’t mind all the swearing. Happy Halloween.