Aye! Caramba!

  • When: 07/10/19
  • QIC: Cosmo
  • The PAX: Bellhop, The Exchange [RESPECT], Knope, Fine Print [DR from F3 Houston], Nails [RESPECT], One Direction, Elf, Misery, Juco, Exhibit A, Sweatervest, Scholar, Starbucks [FNG], Loonie, Pedialyte, Yurt, Maestro [RESPECT], Field Day, Tool Time, 2 Ply, Tok, Maple Mamba, Lap Lane

YHC’s Simpsons-themed 40th birthday/F3 anniversary Q-fest continued at House of Pain, where 23 paid tribute to noted mischief enthusiast Bart Simpson.

Bellhop joined me from the hood for an EC ruck, while 2 Ply and I think(?) Sweatervest(?) got in an EC 5K. During our loops, Bellhop noticed an unfamiliar PAX loitering in front of the church and had the good sense to suggest we introduce ourselves. Turns out it was a DR PAX from Houston by the name of Fine Print. Good dude! He joined us for a few laps, and we laid plans for EHing my Houston-based BIL. He’ll be joining Tobacco Road tomorrow as well. Gotta love F3 Nation.

Thanks to HOP’s resident poet/hypeman Misery, had 23 show up in the gloom for the ME.


10 penalty burpees for late arrivals
Groundskeeper Willie Mays Hayes (with terrible Scottish accent cadence count) X 10IC
Grandpa Simpsons (aka Abe Vigodas) X 10IC
Slow Baryshnikov Squats X 10IC – rotated out to the sides, hips opened, heels raised, then squat. In honor of Bart’s brief flirtation with ballet.

Finished warm-up with Aye! Caramba! merkins, which are like Booyah Merkins except you say Aye! Caramba! Instructed PAX we would go until Q felt everyone was sufficiently in the spirit of this thing, and they obliged heartily. YHC personally very much enjoyed this.

Moseyed to steel


Grabbed steel and returned to main parking lot.

Took a quick lap to let late-arriving Nails grab what was left (a couple of bricks). Could have done a few more penalty burpees, but that would have felt mean, given Nails’ unequivocal anti-burpee stance. Plus, there were plenty of burpees in the offing.

B is for Bart. It’s also for B.O.M.B.S., where partner sets complete the following:
50- Burpees / 100- Overhead Claps (SC) / 150- Merkins / 200- Big Boy Sit-ups (WWIIs) / 250- Squats (with steel).

On account of #CosmoDoesntRunHereAnymore, added a wrinkle. Instead of one PAX getting in as many reps of each exercise while other runs and flapjack, one PAX would bang out reps while other did AMRAPs with steel, then flapjack. Left it up to each partner group to figure out their division of labor. Went like this:

Overhead press AMRAP as parter did burpees (the presses sucked more than expected!)
Curls AMRAP with overhead claps
Rows AMRAP with merkins
Six-inch hold with steel above chest with Big Boy sit-ups
Low squat hold with steel with squats

Had to audible out of the alternating arrangement for big boys and squats due to time and general smokeage. Partners just banged out their remaining reps together.

Baryshnikov squat hold when finished, then picked up the six for the last 20 squats. Good times.

A is for Alphabet – that thing where your legs are at six inches and you spell out the Alphabet. It’s referencing a scene where Bart in Kindergarten tries to do his ABCs, gets as far as A, B – and then says “Line!” Couldn’t find that actual clip, so please enjoy this snippet from the same episode.

R is for Red Bull Smurf Jack X 25IC – As Bart is hyperactive

T is for Tony Hawk Burpee – This referenced the time an emancipated Bart lived in the same apartment building as the skateboarding legend. It’s just like a regular burpee, except you do a 360 jump at the end. Did 5 in cadence and 5 oyo. Miraculously no one ate concrete or tossed merlot.

Quick mosey up the parking lot nearer YHC’s car (needed phone for Name-O-Rama) for Mary


You guessed it, Homer to Marge to Homer to Marge to Homer etc. for two minutes. Hit 6:15 on the nose.


Nails mentioned a PAX in Winston-Salem where he first posted with his brother. This dude now looks like Juco but that’s after shedding 175 pounds. Anything is possible with enough commitment and willingness to work.

YHC took us out.


Elf asked the name of the band director at Springfield Elementary. Realized I didn’t know, to my shame. It’s Dewey Largo. Literally had no idea after all these years.

Fine Print also noted that Cowabunga Merkins would have worked great as well. Maybe next year!

Thanks to everyone for showing. up, working hard and indulging my silly streak. Simpsons matriarch Marge at Tobacco Road tomorrow.

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