It was great to be back at Devil’s Ridge after a few weeks away. Though that sentiment may not have been shared by the PAX who were regaled relentlessly with the exploits of the Ephmen of Williams (Mass.) College, aka my alma mater.

Warmup
SSH (24)
Willie Mays Hayes x 12; Harvester x12
Imperial walker x 12, Hillbilly x 12
Arm circles, 12×12 (forward/backward)
Bitcoin merkin (12)

We moseyed to the bottom of the Hill, where we talked about Williams finishing a perfect 9-0 football season on Saturday by beating our archrival, Amherst, 24-19, at Amherst. That’s why we were doing 24 reps.

First, a history lesson: Williams was founded in 1793, the second-oldest college in Massachusetts, after Harvard (which blocked it from forming for many years). We are the Ephmen or the Ephs (pronounced “eef”), because our founder was Ephraim “Eph” Williams. In 1821, Williams had a very soft president named Zephaniah Swift Moore, who would not have been cut out for F3. He fretted that Williamstown was too remote. So he took a bunch of professors and students, and stole our library books, loaded them up on mules, and went over the Berkshire Mountains to the pitiful flatlands of central Massachusetts to found Amherst College. That’s why the Amherst Lord Jeffs (now the Mammoths) are the Hated Defectors of 1821.

But Williams persevered. Its alumni started the first alumni organization in the U.S., and we were rebuilt, bigger, stronger, faster. (Like the Six-Million Dollar Man.)

Like that lame-o Zephaniah, we went up and down the hill. Unlike Zeph, we did 1 burpee at bottom, 6 8-point manmakers at top. Then 2-5, 3-4, etc.

We moseyed to the track, where we learned that the Williams-Amherst game is known as the Biggest Little Game in America. They’ve played 135 times, which is the most in Division III, and the fourth-most at any level. (Ohio State and Michigan have played a mere 116 times)

Williams leads the series 74-56-5. Going into my freshman year, we had lost 6 games in a row. We won that year, and did not lose for 13 games total, going 12-0-1 over that span. Amherst won 6 straight from 2011-2016, we’ve won 3 out of last 4

To honor leading the series with 74 victories: Do 25 merkins, run a lap; do 25 merkins, run a lap; finish up with 24 merkins, for 74 total.

Not just about sports: In the US News & World Report rankings of National Liberal Arts Colleges, Williams has been No. 1 every year since 2004. That’s 18 years in a row. After taking a vote, we honored Williams’ academic excellence with 18 WWIIs.

Next we moseyed to the ledges. Let’s get back to sports. They award something called the Directors Cup every year, which is a ranking of all your sports. You count the 18 best performing teams of either gender, with a point system. They have awarded it 24 times in Division 3. Williams has won it 22 times, including the last 7 in a row.

Therefore: 22 step-ups (11 each leg), 22 dips, 22 erkins, 11 x 2 derkins. Repeat, except with only 7 derkins. As always, modify as needed!

There was only time for a little Mary, for which we did X’s and O’s.

We finished with Name-o-rama and Sweatervest taking us out with a prayer. Aye!

Reference links:

Biggest Little Game in America
Williams College
NACDA Directors Cup