The Vortex faithful have missed onetime site Q TI since he took a position teaching math at Stevenson University and left a TI-sized hole in our hearts. Cedar Falls Park hasn”t been the same without his epic playlists of pain, joie de vivre, and tremendous calf muscles. And, darn it, we also miss his computational skills. We sure could have used them this morning, when they would have turned an average workout into a great one for the 18 PAX who hit the field in the gloom. If not TI, then maybe we at least could have had an android with lightning-fast math skills and a knack for following directions.
After the usual warm-up, we went straight into what was supposed to be the first of three rounds of competition. One group of nine PAX did shuttle runs until they had moved all 80+ tennis balls from midfield to the end line. The other group did max merkins, with permission to rest but not to drop to their knees. The simple task of adding together the total number of merkins in-between “innings” was a wretched failure, creating rest out of no rest and completely unraveling the Vortex signature nonstop approach. After switching roles, same story; Group 1 needed an abacus to total their merkins. Without great confidence in either number despite Yalta-esque deliberations over the results, a victorious Group 1 took a victory lap while Group 2 did burpees.
Round two consisted of tuck jumps instead of merkins–again max, timed by the sprinters and their tennis balls. An innovation designed to facilitate tabulating the totals (forcing PAX to do sets of ten) proved an utter failure. Behind Kitten”s scorching 260 tuck jumps, Group 2 thought they had it in the bag, even after subtracting 207 to compensate for Mumbles”s early departure from Group 1. But no! Group 1 reported higher totals, sending Group 2 back to the mat for more burpees. Considerable mystery surrounded Group 1”s total, especially when it was revealed that Draper alone had tallied 500 tuck jumps, or well over two jumps per second for almost four minutes. Citing a “counting error,” Draper later pledged penalty burpees at some point in the indefinite future.
Exasperated and with no reasonable hope of completing the third round, we settled for a merkin pyramid (up and down) and some Mary. Bushwood”s flutter kicks seemed more painful than usual and were a great conclusion.
MOLESKIN:
Four showed up for another “spreadsheet” EC, netting over 2.25 miles to go with 180 merkins and 180 KB swings.
Poser made a repeat appearance and nailed it.
Draper is still the man, and it is a testament to our admiration of him that no one initially doubted his outrageous total.
Thanksgiving for all of the 2.0s recently arrived or on the way–and for the group in general, which is a gift.