20 degrees was not deterrent enough for 19 PAX and 1 FNG (5 for EC) this morning at The Falcon. YHC”s main objective was to get blood flowing and body temperatures adjusted as quickly as possible. The warmup thus consisted of lots of movement: shuffles, butt-kickers, high-knees, karaoke, and regular jogging followed by jump squats, imperial squat walkers, slow merkins, and true-form mountain climbers. Then, it was a workout in three acts.
Act I: Bearcrawl Merkin March
The cat”s quip in “Alice in Wonderland” sums this activity up nicely, “If you don”t know where you”re going, it doesn”t matter which road you take.” PAX bear crawled to nowhere while YHC shouted out Merkin variations. These included: reguLAR; diamond; wide-grip; slow-merkins; ranger merkins; left/right leg raised; finger tip. 10 reps each for a total of 100. PAX had to bear crawl if they were not executing Merkins.
Act II: A Sisyphean Struggle
In Greek mythology, Sisyphus is punished by the Gods by having to push a giant boulder up a mountain, only to watch it roll back down, hit him, and continue down to the bottom where he had to push it back up again. Repeatedly. The worst repeato EVER, right? PAX might have been reminded of Sisyphus during this exercise, as we marched up and down the hill. More competitive and optimistic PAX may have been thinking of Camus, remembering, “I know simply that the sky will last longer than I.” I digress. We found a spot on the guardrail and executed 35 slow dips (down on 1-2-3 and count on the up). Then it was up and down the hill with no purpose but to continue to, well, go up and down the hill.
- Up: Frog jump to the speed limit sign
- 10 lunge jumps
- Run back down
- Jump squat until everyone finishes
- 30 slow count dips
- Up: Bunny hop to the speed limit sign
- 15 lunge jumps
- Run back down
- Jump squat until everyone finishes
- 25 slow count dips
- Up: Backwards run to the speed limit signs
- 20 lunge jumps
- Run back down
- 20 slow count dips
- Traveling burpee to the speed limit sign
- 25 lunge jumps
- Run back down
- 20 dips
- 20 slow count Derkins
- Jog to just outside the track entrance
Act III: Survive and Advance
PAX ran backwards up the hill to the traffic circle, where he would then bunny hop around it, jog back down the hill, and then repeato. X5. The catch is that all PAX must continue past 5 until the final PAX finishes 5. Bad luck for all Falcon Faithful. Virgil was correct when he said, “Come what may, all bad fortune is to be conquered by endurance.” And those who endured were rewarded with a jog back to the parking lot.
After jogging to the main parking lot, we then found our 6 and proceeded to execute 50 alternating toe touches. I don”t know if this exercise has a place in the F3 exercise lexicon, but please let YHC know if it does. Until then, the name shall be flutter toes.
CoT: Prayers to Juco”s family and his Uncle Jerry, who recently had a stroke
Moleskine: The gloom is here! 20 degrees and frozen fingertips and toes. It”s the most wonderful time of the year!
Welcome FNG Happy Gilmore!
14 PAX brought gifts for UNC and Duke Children”s Hospitals. Thanks to Assisi for organizing and collecting the gifts.