Some mumble-chatter during EC (5 PAX) got YHC thinking about the novel, Catch-22, by Joseph Heller. The premise of the novel perfectly captures F3 (namely, waking up at 4:30am to get to EC on time): you”re crazy to do it, but if you ask not to do it that means you”re sane, which means you have to do it:

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one”s safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn”t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn”t have to; but if he didn”t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
“That”s some catch, that Catch-22,” he observed.
“It”s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed.”

So here”s our workout (13 PAX) to the tune of YHC”s favorite quotes from Catch-22. The workout would blend upper-body power, lower-body power, endurance and speed (in that order). And since YHC was in charge, there wasn”t anything anyone could do about it.

Under Colonel Korn”s rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did. Soon the only people attending were those who never asked questions, and the sessions were discontinued altogether, since Clevinger, the corporal and Colonel Korn agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

* WU: SSH, arm circles, Imperial Walkers, Merkins
* Grab some metal
* Buddy carry to top of parking lot and back, switching at the top
* Push press X30 with metal
* Curls X30 with metal
* Shrugs X30 with metal
* WWII X20 with metal
Then we found a way to fill our lives with even more unpleasant conditions:

You”re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow down?” Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.
”Well, maybe it is true,” Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. ”Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it”s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?”

* Buddy carry to top of parking lot and back, switching at top
* Buddy carry squats X25
* Squats overhead X20 with metal
* Jump lunges overhead X20 with metal
* WWII X20 with metal
We then broke buddy carry partners into separate groups and raced around the church. One group headed left, the other headed right. The prize for the overall winner: doling out X15 any exercise to the rest of the PAX. The prize for beating your partner: doling out X25 of any exercise. Most victorious PAX joined in the punishment, anyway. Kudos to Assisi for taking the overall title, though Yossarian would not have been impressed:

To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.

Finally, we kept our separate groups and ran a relay race with railroad ties in hand to the top of the parking lot and back, while the group not running alternated between low plank holds, low squat holds, and variations thereof. To finish, we crushed 50 Russian Hammers. YHC didn”t think he”d make it at this point, but took some solace in the following quote which represents why many of us push ourselves to get better.

“He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.”

Moleskin: Prayers for Riggs” family. Riggs” brother is beginning chemotherapy