YHC reflects on love, liberty, and the silent, unconscious joy of sleeping past 0430 while solo rucking for EC. I”m not going to say it was the most intense EC, but I won”t say it was the least intense EC, either. Count it.
Then 11 PAX withstand some blustery and unseasonably cold conditions. Confused about whether to blame El Nino or the strong dollar, YHC tries to channel the brunt of his consternation into a few new exercises for the Vortex faithful.
Warm-Up:

• Snake around the soccer field alternating exercises each time you cross to the other side: high jumps (apple pickers), shuffles, butt-kickers, high-knees, karaoke, backward jog, bear crawl, bunny hop, 50% sprint, 75% sprint.
• Bridal carry – hold your buddy as if he is your bride and you”re about to cross the threshold and carry him to the other side of the field. Alternate. PDA optional. Nervous system is shocked and juices gotta” be flowing now.

Main event – Cat and Mouse

• Two PAX become the cats and line up at the end of the field, while the rest of us become mice and line up at the ”18. Sprint to the end of the field.
• The number of PAX the cat catches = how many burpees the group owes. No rest for anyone. Kind of a spin on the Tabata sprint.
• Each PAX assumes the role of cat once; as we get through the sprints, YHC moves the starting line for the mice closer to the cats each time.
• And boy do we have some fast cats! We hear a lot of rabid meowing, which is always encouraged.
• Draper is downright blazing fast and probably should change his F3 name to Rocket Moose, and Bushwood bags 10 of us in the final heat to punish us with 10 final soul-crushing burpees.
• (Next time I think YHC will reward the cats for catching mice by giving them the right to forgo burpee punishment.)

Core exercises:

• 1st wave: Traveling Merkins. Each PAX executes a Merkin and then travels by putting left hand where right was and moving to the right. YHC overshoots a bit here because everybody is taxed at mid-field, and by everybody I mostly mean YHC.
• 2nd wave: Traveling Squats with non-stop Boxing Jabs: Same idea as the Merkins except you have to be constantly punching and must keep your hands up (as if defending your face in boxing) and preferably punching at all times. We make it to the other side, but it isn”t pretty.
• 3rd wave: Reverse lunges with claps overhead. We got this.
• 4th wave: Spider Crawls: Form is everything here. If you do it right, this exercise just eviscerates you. You assume a low plank hold position and then spider crawl, bringing legs and arms out low and wide to crawl. We make it to the goal post, though Assisi and Coco impressively cruise much farther.

Merkin intermission: 10 each

• Dive-bomber push ups
• Prong push ups (holding one leg up to work the glutes); alternate
• Gracie sits (plank and then swing one leg under to end up in crab position, alternate)
• Helicopter or Sprinklers (plank position with one hand behind head, tuck elbow to opposite hip, alternate)
• This felt like a breakdancing routine at the end, so thanks to all who mentioned it. One man”s harmless comment is another man”s future F3 workout idea.

Big Finish:

• Mosey to the edge of the tennis courts. Lunge walk and clap up the hill to the tree stump. Find a partner and bang out 20 “recovery” pull-ups. YHC had the privilege of pulling up next to Cheese Splint, who has a cheat code for pull-up beast mode. Note to self to ask him for it next time. Mosey back to the soccer field for the following:
• Shoot and leap frogs (dive through partner legs and then hop up and leap over him) X10 each partner
• Stand-up burpees (do a wrestling stand up and then do a burpee – a little awkward but it adds an extra agility step) X10 each PAX

Shout out to The Donald who is recovering from knee surgery and made it out today. Welcome back.