03/04/2022 The Wall – Ken Burns Makes Civil Insurrection A-Okay

March 5, 2022

WHEN: 03/04/2022
QIC: Marky Mark and Bump Draft
PAX: Mothman, Cricket, Germ, Bright Idea, Brotox, Jingles, Chum, RG3, Stickman, I.C.E., Montecristo, Zook, Nighthawk, Petri
ME HEADCOUNT: 16
EC HEADCOUNT: 4

Marky Mark and I planned to complete this workout during the Spring of 2020. World events stopped us from completing it. The theme has long been the Civil War (American, of course). At one time, I made video pre-blasts and often referenced Marky Mark's place of birth (Massachusetts). Most southerners believe that daily life, above the Mason-Dixon Line, is a combination of The Godfather and Mystic River. I'm still convinced this is accurate. We decided that The Wall was a perfect place for this to happen. Originally, it was set to happen at Big House.

Marky Mark to the warm-up and the beginning of the Civil War:

talk like molasses – super slow IC merkins
everything is fried – floor tapping squats
can’t drive in the snow – ricky bobby: tailgate, go too fast, then slam on breaks
Gettysburg address – 271 words – ring of overhead claps x271
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Sherman’s March — scorched earth (backs/shoulders), Atlanta to Savannah — rotating modes of continuous movement across long distance

My part:

Brother against Brother:
Everyone from the North must perform 100 burpees as a group, group to do first them all first wins first battle; I divided guys up by those who are from the North or South. Most of the guys were from the South (I was surprised), but some Southerners had to become Northerners for numbers. Bright Idea tried to claim that he was from the South, but his Ohio origins betrayed him. Petri is from Alabama and I thought he was from New Jersey. I.C.E is from northern Virginia, so that's king of like being from King of Prussia. Not a southerner. Mothman was unfamiliar with the Civil War, and remembers nothing prior to the invention of the automobile.

Mosey to the picnic tables for Stonewalls (reference being Stonewall Jackson):

Southerners held balls to wall, while northerners ran up hill to perform three burpees. I believe we did this three times.

We did some competition merkin-offs; two PAX do a merkin, and then tap opposite hands until someone quits. I was paired with Cricket and his European effeminacy crept in quickly.

I ask several PAX to pronounce 'Appalachian Mountains.' It is supposed to be pronounced APP–A-LACHIAN, not APE-A-LAECHIAN. We discovered that Nighthawk lost his southern card in Colorado, while Brotox is Briar Chapel's version of Shelby Foote for his accurate diction.

Mary: we did a couple of Civil-War themed Mary exercises.

Announcements: Quarterly Report is in April. You'll here about it daily soon enough. Banjos is leading a running event. Brotox has a special workout planned for The Wall next Friday.

COT: I jokingly blamed northerners for watching NFL football (instead of college football), driving up housing prices in the South, and destroying manufacturing. All of this was in jest. All joking aside, most of my best friends in F3 are not born and bred in the South. I believe Lincoln would have appreciated that. Aye!