Yesterday, mumble chatter on the Slack channel spurred by the Pax formerly known as Count Chocula got my interest piqued about potentially posting at Paradise. I'm still recovering from a bout with COVID in December, and my commitments have been fairly flaccid. News broke that Vice may not be able to post because of a potential exposure. Green Acres posted some nonsense proposing a 15-minute ME. He was characteristically ignored. It was only a few minutes later that I learned that I had the Q. I quickly developed a game plan with the following preblast: "New Year. New Q approach. Less talk. More work. Focus on form. Many hands make light work. We will eat the elephant one bite at a time. #FTMF." I called a few PAX out that I had not seen in awhile. Some had good excuses. Some did not. Most just ignored me.

Arrived at the AO a few minutes before 0500 with my 2.0, Madden. I am convinced I only arrive to EC when I am the only one who shows. Apparently, there was some ambiguity about whether EC would happen with Vice's late scratch. No matter. Madden and I did some father-son COW led by Madden (his first time leading EC): All exercises with a ruck plate: curls, overhead presses, high pulls, front-rack squats; chest press, H-to-M, LBCs, flutters.

Then, Nightshift arrived. I adopted him as my stepson, and he coaxed us into a short mosey. So long as Nightshift is injured, I can normally can keep up. We returned to the site where other PAX were starting to arrive. 1-minute warning and then we started with the requisite disclaimer.

WARM-A-RAMA
1 burpee
10 IC SSHs
2 burpees
10 IC Hill Billys
3 burpees
10 IC Imperial Walkers
4 burpees
10 IC mountain climbers
5 burpees
10 slow squats
6 burpees
10 slow Merkins
Count off. Mosey to the Wall.
7 burpees
10 IC Australian Mountain Climbers
Mosey to the bottom of hill.
8 burpees
Bear crawl up hill
Recovery bear crawl down hill
Mosey to wall
9 burpees
10 IC B-2-the-W ASTs
10 burpees (I think we did these, but I honestly can't recall for sure. I was already pretty gassed.)

THE THANG
PAX partner up. Madden is the rules official. Each PAX grabs a block.

For each movement: one PAX has a mode of travel with the block; the other PAX has a mode of travel sans block. Block cannot touch ground. Block PAX can never be in front of non-block PAX. Partners can flapjack as often as desired/needed. Violation of rule leads to 5 penalty blockees/burpees. Early finishers pick up the 6 or hold plank.

1st movement: Overhead carry (block) and bear crawls (no block) from AO to first traffic circle.

Interlude: At the circle, we did a set of donkey calf raises (20 IC), alternating derricks (20 IC), and derkins (max)

2nd movement: Suitcase carry (block) and crab walk (no block) from first traffic circle to second traffic circle.

3rd movement: bear crawl with drag (block) and crawl bear (no block) up double-slope hill.

4th movement: return to AO on the double abiding by rules not to drop block or allow block to get behind the non-block.

INTEGRATED MARY
Pairs paired for teams of 4. Teams had to complete 20 blockees total. If not doing blockees, PAX had to do flutter kicks.

PAX then voted on preference between 10 burpees or a two-minute plank hold. To make everyone happy, we did both.
10 burpees +2 bonus burpees = 12 burpees in honor of Bump's attempt at 12 Days of Burpees last week.
2-minute plank hold with variations, finishing with ring-of-fire Merkins.

COT
Announcements: Morning Report (quarterly, Saturday, regionwide boot camp, rotating throughout region); starts in North Durham on 1/15.
Name-a-rama
YHC took us out by referencing the children's book, The Boxer and the Princess. Here is the Booklist summary: "In this gentle, funny fantasy/fable, translated from the German, the cast of rhinoceros characters combines beast and human in witty watercolor illustrations that make you laugh and feel. Rhinoceros corporate dad tells his son that his skin is too thin; Max must learn to stand up for himself; life is tough. So Max gets himself boxing gloves, a helmet, and a suit of armor, and then nothing can touch him: "only cold and loneliness found a way through his armor." Out in the world, he has no trouble slaying dragons and rescuing the beautiful princess; but when he wants to marry her, she refuses to have anything to do with a boxer. So he sheds all his protective armor and learns to pick flowers and swim with her in the sea. There's a wonderful light tone to the exaggerated story and the wry pictures. When Max is vulnerable, he is so soft that a butterfly can bend his horn. When he is strong and grown-up, the doctor's X ray reveals a lock on Max's rib cage. And when he is in love, each kiss makes him stronger than 10 suits of armor." YHC talked about the importance of vulnerability as a precondition to love. We often wear a lot of armor as a way of avoiding being seen. YHC implored the PAX to find ways to be vulnerable.

PAX retired to Lox's Brandwein's Bagels for Coffeeteria.

MOLESKIN
As a sign that the PAX were really listening to the COT message, Uzi reported the following: "Following the COT and the Q's eloquent words about vulnerability, I wanted to share an anecdote that happened just a short time ago – I received a phone call from Bump Draft and when I answered he said 'Oh, I thought I dialed my wife'. This may be a cry for help. True story." In Bump's defense, his wife's name is Uzo.

Uzi also said the kindest thing about YHC during the ME. He noted that most Qs focus on exercises that they are particularly good it. He said I was exclusively focusing on exercises that I was poor at. Another PAX noted that was because I am poor at all exercises. Well, it sounded nice in the moment.

SYITG