“In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Briar Chapel Clubhouse. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… the Q-Team.”
It’s Theme Month at The Big House. Today was tagged to be military themed. Unfortunately, the A-Team was busy trying to trick B.A. into flying again, so the men of The Big House got stuck with the knuckheaded shenanigans of Bright Idea and Chum.
Warm-Up
- Mountain Climbers
- SSH
- Calf Stretch
- WMH
Pax may have been reprimanded with some penalty push-ups for not echoing the Q’s commands.
OPORD
The unit moseyed to the playground, where Bright Idea delivered the Operations Order. The targeted enemy was the Sad Clown Posse who was armed & empowered behind the forces of social media, namely Nextdoor.
Soften the Target
To soften the target, the men partnered up for some PFT. 2 mins of Push-Ups, Max Pull-Ups, then 2 mins of Sit-Ups.
Movement to Contact
Form two ranks and commence Ricky Bobby north on Great Ridge Parkway. Once we cleared the houses, group transitioned to a cadenced run, complete with a custom cadence sung by Bright Idea:
Up in the morning before the sun;
17 PAX about to go get some.
Holy cow, this Q’s insane;
Them Churham boys bring the pain.
Burpees, air squats, and bear crawl;
Smurf jacks, sprints, and balls to the wall.
Mary can be real bitch;
Ring of fire pushups ‘til arms twitch.
Name-o-rama and COT;
Time to name that FNG.
Huddle up and words of motivation;
Clown car home, represent F3 Nation.
Assault
As we approached the big f#$%ing hill upon which the enemy hid, Chum moved forward and directed the men to form a single line across the toe of the hill.
- Sprint to the top. Enemy weakened, but still defending. Get low to evade direct fire by doing some merkins. Sprint back to bottom and regroup.
- Gotta get lower. Bear Crawl up the hill. Enemy disrupted. Need to cautiously survey surrounding area by doing some squats. Bear crawl back to regroup for final assault.
- Enemy appears to be in its final defensive posture. Gotta stay really low. Low Crawl up the hill. Terrain seized. Celebrate with some Overhead Claps. Unfortunately, enemy scouts identified (no shit, a car drove by – really slowly – as we dudes were doing OH claps on top of the hill. In the dark. With headlamps. In an undeveloped portion of the BC). Low crawl back down to avoid detection from the enemy scouts.
Follow-On Mission
Given the relative success against the Sad Clown Posse, but with the enemy only in retreat and not completely defeated, we received a follow-on mission.
Re-form two ranks and Ricky Bobby back towards traffic circle at the clubhouse. Transition to release run (i.e., break ranks into individual AYG run) once we reentered the occupied portion of the neighborhood.
Airborne Operation
Form two ranks, one each along each of the walls that run through the traffic circle. Low Squat Hold to represent us being rigged and ready. Quick, abbreviated jump commands from Chum. At “hook up”, commence overhead claps. At “Green Light – Go” duck walk while overhead clapping along the walls. Exit the paratroop door at the halfway point (i.e., jump of the wall). [Yeah, it looked as silly as it sounds]
Shits & Gigs
We got some representation of the Marines, Army, and Air Force thus far in this morning’s shenanigans. Had to work in some Navy & Coast Guard. (What would Red October do?) To be ready in event of mechanical failure, we were ready to manually power the watercraft with 50 (IC) Flutterkicks.
Announcements
- Theme Week with Mystery Qs continues all this month at The Big House. Come on out for some silly change of pace.
- Gambler II CSAUP on 4/6/19. Sign up and show up.
COT/BOM
Much thanks to the men for the opportunity and for the support today. We each have duties and responsibilities in our lives (work, family, etc.). Charge aggressively and attack those responsibilities!
Moleskin
- After Chum’s direction on low crawl form, Germ mentioned that it was the first time the Q had told him what to do with his dick.