The Legend of Grunge and Lubricated Goat

May 11, 2018

WHEN: 05/11/2018
QIC: Grunge, Goat Cheese
PAX: Pusher, Limburger, Buffay, Cortes, Toast McQueen, Headgear, Blistex, Goat Cheese (Respect!), Grunge

So, if you ask any random person in your life, or even off the street, who was the father of grunge music, I would wager the vast majority would probably say Kurt Cobain. Indeed, Nirvana is often credited as the band that brought grunge to the nation’s, heck, the world’s, attention. However, legend has it that Kurt Cobain actually stole, well, borrowed liberally, almost everything he knew about grunge from several Australian bands, including unsung pioneers of “grimy, confrontational” rock music, Lubricated Goat. I have attached, for your listening pleasure, Exhibit A, a classic gem off of the band’s 1988 release, Paddock of Love, entitled, “In The Raw.” Please, be forewarned, this tune is not for the faint of heart, and not appropriate for 2.0s under the age of majority.

Lubricated Goat received brief notoriety for performing this tune while appearing nude on an ABC TV program wearing nothing more than their instrument and shoes. (I wish to point out that I have made several appearances both on and off stage in my brief career as a C-tier, college musician donned in similar attire, or lack thereof, and received minimal to absolutely no notoriety). However, despite being one of the true originators of the grunge movement, this band never received much attention and has been largely dismissed and forgotten, whereas Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, to this day, continues to receive much adoration and recognition as innovators and founders of the scene.

But my intent here is not to disparage or minimize the influence and impact Kurt Cobain and Nirvana has made to music history. In fact, just the opposite. I am a huge fan and honestly, to this day, I still remember being totally hooked when I first heard the fuzzy, dark bass line that leads into the intoxicating tandem singing/guitar riffs of “Blew,” the first track off Nirvana’s debut album, Bleach, or the iconic four chord intro to Nevermind’s opening track, “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” I mean, no question, it completely changed the course of rock music, for me personally, and for millions of others out there who were hungry for and ready to embrace this “revolutionary” “new” sound.

What is the point of all this, you ask? Well, as I sat down to supper last night, texting my good friend and co-Q Goat Cheese struggling over the game plan for today’s workout, the whole Kurt Cobain/Lubricated Goat thing came to my mind. When I began my walk with F3, I was intimidated by the idea of stepping up to lead a workout. I thought that in order to Q a workout, I had to come up with something entirely new or innovative, something that would wow and dazzle, or impress the PAX. However, there was a fundamental flaw in that form of thinking and it absolutely flies in the face of the F3 principle of “living third.” I was too focused on my own concerns, goals, objectives and fears and not focused enough on what comes before, the Creator and the Community. This self focused way of thinking prevented me from evolving into the HIM that this F3 community wants all of us to be.

The truth is, it is not necessary to be a pioneer or an originator to be an effective Q and lead a great workout. It helps, no question, but it is not a necessity. What is a necessity is putting your mind and heart in the right place. Leading a workout isn’t about putting your ego on display, it’s about being of service and putting the needs of the brothers who drag themselves out of their warm, cozy beds and into the dark, cold gloom at the crack of dawn before your own. No question, there are guys in our region that are brilliant at leading fun, interesting, well developed and well executed workouts. These guys are a big inspiration to us all. I can assure you, every one of them started by having their mind and heart in the right place.

Let’s be real, none of exercise nuts and bolts stuff is truly original. Dredd, the founder of F3, took much of the framework right out of the military handbook from his time in the army and as a Special Forces officer. Boot camp workouts have been going on for centuries. But, like Kurt Cobain, take inspiration and “borrow liberally” from what is already out there, mix it up, cobble it together, put your own spin on it, throw some passion into the mix, and as long as you have your mind and heart in the right place, before you know it, you have what it takes to lead a great workout. I encourage you all to step out of your comfort zones, for those who haven’t led a workout, sign up. For those who have Q’d locally, get out and Q some other sites in the region. Looking forward to continuing my journey with you all. Peace.

On to today’s workout. Last week, I came across a couple great BBs, the first is Stop, Drop & Roll’s “The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved,” (https://f3churham.move-marketing.net/the-kentucky-derby-is-decadent-and-depraved/), the second, your very own Nickelback’s “Battle of Puebla.” (https://f3churham.move-marketing.net/battle-of-puebla/). These were both excellent reads. Unique, interesting, educational. As stated above, I was struggling a bit with my workout plan, but then chose to pull a bit of a Cobain, and decided to go with something that was the exact opposite of the other two BBs. With the exception of Goat Cheese’s beautiful beads of gold, I present to you all, good PAX of D&W, my most unholy rosary of great taint, the serendipitously titled, Legend of Grunge and Lubricated Goat.

History Lesson, Pt 1

THE EARLY YEARS

Greetings and introductions.

One minute warning. No FNGs.

I was told that the men of D&W love to get after it and so I wanted to step up the pre-game a notch. Instead of a static COP, I figured we could start with a nice Dine & Dash.

Fellowship Jog from Parking Lot to Los Ballos Negros (LBN). Circle up.

Dine on SSH, x10 IC. Dash to Parking Garage Entrance (PGE). Circle up.

Dine on Merkins, x10 IC. Dash to LBN. Circle up.

Dine on Back Scratchers, x10 IC. Dash to PGE. Circle up.

Dine on Mountain Climbers, x10 IC. Dash to LBN. Circle up.

Dine on Burpees, x10 OYO. Dash to Outdoor Parking Lot.

THE BLUNDER YEARS*

I had the PAX line up at the end of the parking lot. Explained that we were gonna do a twist on a straight forward 4 Corners workout. I had this titled the “4Way, 4Play” but due to time constraints, we were only able to get a 3some in. Ah well. Next time. (Special thanks to Limburger for being my time keeper).

Each round involved two different modes of travel, alternating:

Round 1: Sprint to C1/Buddy Carry to C2/Sprint to C3/Buddy Carry to C4

Round 2: Bear Crawl to C1/Lunge Walk to C2/Bear Crawl to C3/Lunge Walk to C4.

Round 3: Bernie Sanders to C1/Wheel Barrow to C2/Bernie Sanders to C3/Wheel Barrow to C4

Round 4: Crawl Bear to C1/Crab Walk to C2/Crawl Bear to C3/Crab Walk to C4 (**Omitted due to time constraints)

At each corner, PAX perform three different exercises.

Corner 1: Diamond, Standard, Wide Merkins, x10 each, SC.

Corner 2: BW Squats, High Knees, Tuck Jumps, x10 each, SC (except High Knees on my 1-2).

Corner 3: Flutter Kicks, WWIIs, Iron Cross, x10 each, SC (except Flutters on my 1-2, Iron Cross x5, L&R).

Corner 4: SSH, BW Thruster, Burpees, x10 SC.

* NOTES: I had planned to get to bed early Thu night and be nice and refreshed for this morning’s workout. Unfortunately, that plan did not pan out…and neither did my workout plan. I am blaming lack of sleep and my advancing years as the reason for a number of blunders. First, I failed to have the PAX partner up when we initially lined up. This resulted in partnering up in haste after completing the exercises at C1 of Round 1. Second, I failed to call the 3rd exercise (Tuck Jumps) at C2. Third, I failed to call any of the exercises at C4. WTF???! As compensation for my blunders, I felt that I needed to give something of value back to the PAX. As such, after completing the superset of exercises at C4 of Round 3, I felt the need to hand out one last additional set of 10 Burpees to each of the PAX. It was the least I could do.

History Lesson, Pt. 2 

THE WONDER YEARS

I handed the reins to Goat Cheese. Goat had the foresight to bring along a proper workout plan and a pair of “fuzzy”dice. One PAX correctly pointed out that the dice weren’t really actually fuzzy, to which my only reply was, “but what truly matters is what they are on the inside.”

Buddy Assisted Hand Stand Push Ups

Before Goat introduced the purpose of the dice, he decided that it would be fun to try out a new exercise called the Buddy Assisted Hand Stand Push Up. When Goat unveiled this wicked beauty on me the night before, it sounded pretty ugly…and in the golden light of the new dawn, it sounded even uglier. Basically, Partner A would get up in a handstand, while Partner B standing upright, held A’s ankles to stabilize him. Partner A would then do inverted push ups AMRAP, after which the Partners would flapjack. I have to personally apologize to Buffay for failing miserably to grab his ankles to allow him to assume the appropriate position to start pushing. After several attempts, it was decided to quickly switch partners to better account for and accommodate size variances. Once appropriately coupled, everyone was able to pop off a few rounds.

Partner Leg Press 

Satisfied with how well that went, Goat decided to call on me to introduce another equally taxing, yet beautifully awkward exercise called the Partner Leg Press. I first saw this beauty “rear” its delightful head at the first Werewolf at the Thin Blue Line back in January (I want to say it was Midget4Life of CarPex that called this then). In essence, Partner A lays down on his back on the ground, raising bent legs up as if on one of those leg press machines. Partner B would then lay back, resting his 6 on the soles of Partner A’s feet and serving as the weight. Partner A would then execute 15 presses, SC. Mumble chatter was swarthy and vigorous during these exercises.

Dice-A-Rama

After this initial round, Goat then turned our attention back to the two large dice sitting in the circle. The objective was straightforward. One die had an exercise written on each of its 6 sides. The second had a number, ranging from 5 to 30(?). Two PAX, chosen at random, would toss a die and the group would then perform the exercise and number that came up in the dice throw. Many rounds of this transpired. Some examples included: Merkins, LBCs, Dry Docks, Squats, etc. Interestingly, the #10 came up most frequently, #5 next, and I think we had one 20. We kept waiting for the dreaded 30 Burpees to come up, but alas, it was not meant to be.

Three Rounds of Fun  

During Dice-A-Rama, Goat would intermittently stop play and call for another round of BAHSPU/PLP fun. In sum, I believe we ended up doing three rounds of this. I have to say, by the end of this, we were all getting pretty darn good at these, so much so that a woman in a mini-van drove by a couple times just to take in the sheer awesomeness.

Time was called with a few minutes for Mary

Goat: Merkin Ring of Fire. Each PAX perform 5. We went two rounds. First round, style. Second round, form.

Grunge: Flutter Kicks, x40

And, that’s a wrap!

History Lesson, Pt. 3    

REAR VIEW MIRRORS

COT/BOM

Announcements

  • Check Slack for news on monthly Hillsborough 2ndF events. I believe Toast stated these took place the 3rd Wed of each month.

Name-o-Rama

BOM

I ended with praise and thanks for the leaders and PAX of Hillsborough. There is great love for this region, as evidence by the strong outpouring and support seen last week as 21, 22 PAX from various parts of Churham came to celebrate the one year anniversary of Duck & Weave. Really great group this morning. Goat and I really appreciated the warm welcome. Great culture comes from strong leadership. Really awesome the growth that this region has experienced. What started with one, Duck & Weave, has now grown to three AOs, with the addition of The Skunk and The Rock. T-Claps and Kudos to site Qs Nickelback, Buffay, and Toast, as well as the PAX who make this region truly special.

I talked a bit about the whole Kurt Cobain and Lubricated Goat thing and encouraged the PAX to go out and continue to lead. Look forward to coming back to post/Q the other two AOs in the Northern Province. Hope all have a great day and a great weekend. Until we meet again, be well, brothers. Aye!