Intro

Operations & Safety Brief

Warmup

• Marky Mark – SSH
• Rambler – Willie Mays Hayes
• Yanni – Merkins
• Griswold – Imperial Walkers
• Chum – Squats

Split into 5 teams and we’re ready to go.

The Thang

AO #1 – The Art Park (Qs: Yanni & Fieri)

Having the 1st AO meant getting a fresh PAX that was ready, eager, and willing to get to work. Fieri and YHC met a couple days before at the Art Park and scouted, conspired, schemed, laughed and made a plan that would hopefully prime the PAX for the rest of our grueling journey through The Gambler. With all PAX members safety arriving at AO #1, dumping their gear to the side, we eyed a field marked with orange cones, partnered up(size never matters*), gave directions, heard moans and got to work. There was only 1 warning, watch out for the man sized doo doo in the middle of the field.

Line up on opposite sides of the field from your partner and:
1) Bear Crawl to the middle of the field, 10 hand tap merkins w/ partner, crawl bear back. Repeat by descending 2s down to 2 HTM
2) Traveling burpees to middle of field, 10 hand tap merkins w/ partner, burpees traveling** back. Repeat by descending 2s down to 2 HTM

Wheelbarrow race – big prize to the winning team!
With your partner wheelbarrow to the other side. Before heading back to the start line, both partners must complete 20 merkins OYO. If at any point you and your partner need to switch, 20 merkins both. The PAX was told that there would be a prize awarded to the winning team. The PAX was not told that race #1 was just for seeding and handicapping the faster teams. Much moaning was heard when race #1 was done and Grunge realized he would not be winning the prize just yet, that he would have to prove himself again but this time start farther back from the starting line. With the playing field evened out, race #2 got underway and a winner emerged. Congrats to Stinky Pete and Gomer, see YHC after the Gambler and collect your winnings. Prize would be a 6 pack of Fat Tire.

* male only groups, size never matters
** Stinky Pete

AO #2 – Great Meadow (Qs: Marky Mark & DOI)

With shoulders sufficiently smoked from AO #1, and the PAX fresh off a lengthy run uphill, YHCs opted to start with some work on the ground, and finish with some tire fun.

Field Work on the grass
* Tunnel of Love – To marker, sprint back, winning team calls exercise
* Over/Under Planks – To marker, sprint back, winning teams calls exercise
* Leap Frog – To marker, sprint back, winning team calls exercise

Tires Station
Teams divide up to 5 stations
1) Hold tire above head, run up to marker, do 10 squats, run back
2) Dry Docks
3) Step-ups
4) Ping Pong Pullups
5) Stepback lunge
(repeat through stations until time is up)

As legend will have it, Fieri fended off an attack from a pack of wild dogs while doing his tire squats

AO #3 – Constellation Park (Q: Griswold)

YHC had anticipated two runs and an AO between Yanni and Fieri’s shoulder beatdown would allow for proper shoulder/tricep recovery, therefore making a Merkin fest acceptable and bearable. YHC was mistaken, MarkyMark and DOI provided some shoulder beating as well, but the “plan” was already in place. After the PAX replicated most of the EC Murph crews Friday return route, which we now actively avoid, all PAX stopped at the start of the trail up to constellation park. Here is what went down:

Travel up the path to constellation park by 2’s. Start with the Lunge Walk. Switch to Bear Crawl at a predetermined marker. Switch back to Lunge Walk at previously observed debris pile. Once lead PAX reached the final checkpoint plank was held until the last group was present. The rest of the way was covered via recovery jog.

Once in the circular area surrounded by the low wall the Merkins commenced. Here is how that went:

-Start at the low wall for some Step Ups – IC x 15 (counting was poor at best by your Q here, apologies to all)

-ATM (15 IC Shoulder Taps, 10 Tempo Merkins, 10 Standard Merkins – all no rest)
-Booyah Merkin x 10 (IN memory of the one and only Stuart Scott)
-Worst Merkin Ever x 5

-More Step Ups IC x 15 (thanks to a quick correction tip from Shake It counting was much smoother)

-Urkins IC x 20
-Dips IC x 20
-Captain Morgan x 10

-Line up again at low wall. Each PAX did a burpee, jumped onto the wall, dismounted on the other side, squat jumped onto the wall, and dismounted onto the starting side. That was 1. PAX did 10 OYO.

-More Step Ups IC x 15 (YHC was so happy in the newfound ability to count step ups, one more was in order)

-Tempo Merkin x 10
-Derkins IC x 10

Special thanks to Yanni for providing fun size snickers bars at the end of this, trying not to return that bar to the wild from my stomach was a great way to keep my mind off of what was to come.

AO #4 – The Wall (Qs: Rambler & Moore)

Seeing that the ETA for this AO was around 1100, we could not count on the tennis or basketball courts to be empty. There was really only one logical choice: the western hill. Moore hustled to the AO and opened his SUV’s liftgate so that the rest of the PAX would be greeted by a site to behold. Cinder blocks and bricks a plenty! PAX were told to pair up and grab 1 cinder block and 2 bricks per pair.

YHC had thought he had consulted the Exicon and read an entry entitled Hamburger Hill; a Dora variant that involved hills, cinder blocks, and bricks. Rechecking resulted in no such entry, so apologies might be in order to the PAX that had to endure it!

Hamburger Hill 1-2-3

• 100 cumulative lateral arm raises with bricks
• Partner ascends and descends hill with cinder block
• 200 cumulative bicep curls with cinder block
• Partner ascends and descends hill with bricks
• 300 cumulative upright row* with cinder block
• Partner ascends and descends hill with bricks

*Moore and YHC called an audible and switched from the backbreaking rows to overhead press.

The feedback was consistent: “I hate this” was overheard more often than not. As I have come to learn , for a Q, that translates into mission accomplished!

AO #5 – The Commons (Q: Chum)

After the Rambler & Moore beatdown at The Wall, the Pax entered Copperhead West Trail and were graced with about 1.5 miles of its tranquil setting, random ankle-twisting rocks, and its gentle downhill slope.

A bunch of sweaty dudes emerged near the playground and began massing for the final AO. Maybe it was fatigue, or maybe it was just Shake It’s natural awesomeness, but while we were gathering everyone, Semper Fives made the comment that he thought Shake It was Connor MacGregor (insert roundhouse kick with expletive here).

Moseyed up to the lawn Briar Chapel Commons and Chum led us through various one-minute timed sets of Mary, with plank holds in between:

• Flutterkicks
• LBCs
• Heels to Heaven
• Freddie Mercury
• Hammers
• Dollies
• Boat/Canoe
• The Duplo Duo (Seated Hammie with Arm Circles of Death)

COT

Moseyed back to The Big House and circled up for the hotly anticipated comparison of cards. Mothman (whom Singlet kept referring to as Moth Balls) stepped forward with his hand and compared it to the hand of the man beside him. Best hand advanced. Process continued until we had our World Champion — the one and only Moore — who gladly accepted his trophies. Don’t be surprised if he wears his trophy to an F3 workout; simply enjoy being in the presence 0f his greatness.

Then, the men all enjoyed some hard-earned and well-deserved snacks and beverages (which, by the way, they could keep cool with their custom koozie participation award)

Much thanks to everyone for signing up and showing. And much thanks to everyone for the support in planning and executing this event. Hope everyone enjoyed it, and look forward to the next one!

Moleskin

• Mothman sported his sunglasses throughout the event. The sun never sets on cool.
• At the first AO, we had a young lady stop and take pictures. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it eleventeen times – it’s hard being handsome.
• RG3 is the artist. The dude not only created the design for our latest round of gear, but also made a Gambler emoji.