Master! Master! Promised Only Lies!

January 29, 2019

WHEN: 01/29/2019
QIC: Banana Split
PAX: Nails, Sherwin, Green Egg, Roach, Bluth, Sodapopinski, FunnyMoney, Driftwood, Sawtooth, Justice, Crimson, CoolJ, Sweatervest

YHC is the Master of Burpees, the source of self-destruction, puller of strings, twister of minds, and smasher of dreams.

14 PAX endured his pain monopoly and ritual misery.

Warm Up:

  • 10 burpees OYO
  • regular stuff
  • 15 penalty burpees — 5 each for 3 late PAX

Main Event:

  • Triple Merkin Burpees — standard issue burpee with 3 push-ups instead of 1.
  • 3 sets of 10.
  • Mosey to the long curvy hill.
  • 2 deer scampered across the street in front of us…then 2 more.
  • Backwards run up the hill.
  • True American Burpees — burpee with a hand release merkin then a plank jack.
  • 3 sets of 10.
  • Mosey down the long dark hill on Beverly…notes to self to make use of this awful hill in the future.
  • F*ck You Burpees — burpee with a clap merkin and a mule kick.
  • 3 sets of 10. This was a thing that should not be.
  • Mosey to the freshly paved lot by the tennis courts.
  • Up/Down Burpees — burpee with a Mahktar Ndiaye instead of a merkin.
  • 2 sets of 15.
  • That’s 145 burpees total for the morning, almost all of which were awful franken-burpees.
  • The Q said this would be the last thing, but it was a lie.

Mary:

  • LBC X25 IC
  • Flutter X25 IC
  • LBC X25 IC
  • 5 count high/low plank hold ring-of-fire

COT:

  • Justice suggested that PAX put more effort into visibility, esp after two sitings of the infamous white Tesla.
  • Justice was grateful for quality time with his family and a meaningful conversation with his dad.
  • Cool J’s friends are going through a divorce, have young kids.
  • Driftwood closed with prayer.

Notes:

When I was in high school, I lifted weights in the attic bonus room at my parents’ house in Dallas, NC with Master of Puppets (on cassette) blasting at top volume. Everyone in my family hated it, but I felt like a total bad ass. (I wasn’t.) My dad found the cassette one day — which has cover artwork featuring a cemetery with white crosses tethered to strings manipulated by god hands in an ominous sky. He stormed downstairs, angry that such evil imagery was in his house, and asked: “WHOSE META-LICKA TAPE IS THIS!” Still one of the funniest things he’s ever done…

Gonna call him today to remind him about it. You should call someone you love too.