<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>9 PAX arrived on time to the Whole Foods parking lot for our weekly journey of pain. Little did most of them know that I, with the help of scientists, had developed a new workout for their participating pleasure. </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>
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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Through a rigorous scientific process and higher level mathematics F3-9000 was developed. The basic premise is to do 30 different exercises, each for 1 minute, at 10 different stations. The stations alternate between pavered and non-pavered. Where does F3-9000 get its name, you might ask. The PAX did, in fact ask, multiple times if my math was correct. I can assure you that the math works. First you take the mean age of the participants, add them together, divide by 9, multiply by Planck’s constant, adjust for the Coriolis effect and Bernoulli’s Principle. Take that number, multiply by zero then take 30 exercises multiplied by 30 minutes multiplied by 10 stations and you get 9000. Hence, F3-9000. Easy! </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>
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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Because I was worried about time constraints, I fartsacked the warm-up and just had everyone run with one (or two) pavers up to the Duke East Campus quad. There we found a nice circular round-about and set up 10 cones (exactly equidistant). </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>
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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>The PAX were split into two groups. One group did paver exercises while the other group exercised without. </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>10 cones total, and we went around the circle 3 times in all. </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>
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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>1.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Freestyle Upper</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Merkins</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Carolina Dry Docks</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Knee up Merkins</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>2.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Pavers </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. Paver Jump Lunges</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Paver Air Squats </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Paver Burpees</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>3.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Freestyle Legs</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. Side Shuffle Hop</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Mountain Climbers</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Low Jacks</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>4. Pavers</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. Top Shelf </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Isometric-</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Iron Cross (T)</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Bench Presses</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>5.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Freestyle Abdomen</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. LBCs</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Low Flutters</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Russian Hammers</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>6.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: m
edium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Pavers</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. Isometric- </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Arms straight out </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Military Presses (overhead)</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Rows</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>7. Freestyle Plank</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Bows and Toes</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Sarcosi</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>(Left side up)</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Putin (Right side up)</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>8. Pavers</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Curls</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Triceps (one paver)</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Paver Windmills</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>9. Freestyle Combo</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Merkin/Mountain climbers (10 then switch)</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b.</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>Burpee jacks</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Merkin jacks</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>10. Pavers</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>a. Speed skater jumps</span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>b. Snowboarders </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”>c. Navy sit-ups</span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman;”> </span>

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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Mary: Time was up, so I fartsacked Mary also. </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>
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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>COT: Mosey back to the grassy knoll near Whole Foods for a quick circle. </span>

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<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Moleskin: </span><span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>
Tclaps to Riggs and Doogie for pushing rounds so that they could make the workout today. </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Remember, there is no modification allowed in F3-9000! </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Windmill pavers and the Iron Cross are harder in reality than they seemed in my mind. </span>

<span style=”font-size: medium; font-family: Times New Roman,serif;”>Good luck to TimBukTu whose wife should be delivering TimBukThree sometime this week. </span>