The Night’s Watch: 3 men rucked and 4 ran for Extra Credit. Though it wasn’t quite the temperature I imagine is median for The Wall this time of year, the weather did feel a little cooler this morning compared to last week.
16 PAX defended the wall today. DOI showed up and told me to take my time as I was heading back to my car to change shirts (yes, still pretty steamy out there). It was just enough time for me to jog my memory of the many Game of Thrones characters I wanted to honor this morning to celebrate the beginning of the 7th season. To kick things off, we warmed up with the usual kickstarters and did not go very far – all of our work was done on the Village Green. To get hearts pumping and adrenaline rushing as only the Game of Thrones intro song can, we did a couple of time hacks filled with Dances with Dragons.
Each was timed for 5 minutes:
Round 1: A Song of Ice and Fire
What better way to kick off the workout than to honor the fiercest of Daenerys’ dragons, Drogon, along with the Three-Eyed Raven, Bran Stark, and everyone’s favorite Master of Coin, Tyrion Lannister. The burpees needed to be worthy of the big, black dragon; the crawls needed to represent Bran’s perseverance through his struggles; and the jacks needed to represent Tyrion’s short stature but his knack for staying alive.
- 10 Drogon Burpees (burpee followed by tuck jump)
- Bran crawl (seal crawl to other side of green)
- 10 Tyrion Jacks (smurf jacks)
In the spirit of finding new combinations of exercises, these were combined to prove a formidable start to the morning. The Bran Crawls were the worst, and combined with the burpees and jacks on either end made for a powerful concoction.
Round 2: One to Rule the Seven Kingdoms
Our new season promises some more White Walker action, so it felt fitting to introduce it early here. Cersei claims the Iron Throne, but only with her brother, the Kingslayer himself, nearby as the Hand of the Queen. At some point, the Walkers must meet the Lannisters, though I imagine it may take a while for the White Walkers to make their way on foot to King’s Landing. Until then, the White Walkers march on in the north, Cersei rules in the Iron Throne, and the Kingslayer does one-armed burpees.
- 10 White Walker Burpees (single leg burpees)
- Iron Thrones (lateral squat walk)
- 10 Kingslayer Burpees (one-armed burpees – and merkins if you got it!)
I saw quite a few pax attempting the one-armed merkins along with the burpees in the Kingslayers. Even if you didn’t do this and just hopped back with your arm straight at the bottom of the burpee, the exercise still jolted the core.
Round 3: Hodor Squats and Runs
Hodor met an untimely fate, seen only by the Three Eyed Raven, after carrying Bran on his back for thousands of miles. He attempted to escape the White Walkers, wounded and harried, but to no avail.
What is it? 20 partner squats. Then one partner single-leg bearcrawls the green and back while the other SSH. Switch
I felt like the Q was going pretty well at this point, but then Banjo came up to me and called me a name I won’t repeat here, and then I KNEW it was going well. Just like a Lannister, Sweats always pays his debts, so I made it up to Banjo by partnering with him for the Hodor Squats. I may only outweigh him by 50 pounds or so, but he is a beast and had no trouble.
Round 4: The Greyworm
The commander of the warrior Eunuchs needs an exercise that tough, stoic, and relentless. I think we found just the one.
What is it? A walkout to plank, followed by merkin jacks, walking back to standing position at Q’s discretion.
I saw a few pax hold strong to the end, and a few others have to move to knees and possibly even full planks on the ground. This was the gutsy part of the workout where you just had to dig deep for a little mustard, so to speak.
Round 5: The Direwolf Crawl
Banjo mentioned to me that my one-legged bear crawl appeared more like a gorilla crawl. He wasn’t wrong, and as I consider myself a bear crawl purist, I decided we needed an exercise to satisfy the old guard a bit, one that honored the loyal, primitive guardians of the Stark family.
What is it? A bear crawl but only moving at Q’s command with merkins interspersed. Forward and backward crawls were included.
Round 6: Theon’s Escape
A tip of the cap to last season, where Theon was running from Ramsay Bolton and the hounds were hot on his tail.
What is it? One pax does 5 merkins and sprints the long sides of the green, and backward runs the short sides. Meanwhile, as soon as the guy ahead of you finishes his merkins, you begin chasing him. Those caught owe 10 Drogon Burpees. Then we switched it around and had the guys who went last go first, though this time we backwards ran the straightaways and sprinted the short sides.
Thanks to Eddie the Eagle, Spooky jumped right behind me and I had to run for my life, but it was a great finish to a solid workout. Spooky is the last person I want chasing me, but luckily I had enough runway to escape. A few Theon’s did go down today, though.
Round 7: A Final Feast for Crows (Mary)
What is it? 30 russian hammers, 30 flutter kicks, and a 2-minute 6 inch hold. I asked everybody to keep arms up and toes pointed for the final two, because that’s how you earn your marks on those exercises. Otherwise you’re just knee fluttering and sparing your core from true work when you put your hands under your butt.
Moleskine: Eddie the Eagle asked where my next stop is. I’m in Chicago tomorrow and then back to Q Afterburn on Thursday, Animal House on Friday, and The Battering Ram Saturday. Plan to come or to avoid, the show will go on in either case, but I’d love to see you!
Great to see some guys I haven’t seen for a while and also meet a few new faces. The Southern Village crew has been great to work with over the past week as I’ve had a couple of Qs on their turf. The hills are aplenty and the enthusiasm is contagious. I have had a really nice time visiting these AOs. It is great to get out of the comfort zone and (attempt to) lead new men, even if we are doing it while honoring a TV show about dragons and killer polar zombies.