Introduction:

This is my 1 year anniversary for F3, and seasoned vet Yanni was kind enough to switch Q dates with me to let me have this coveted slot – thanks Yanni! A year ago I was a mildly in-shape weekend warrior, who did erratic mountain biking sessions on our lovely BC trails, and had found that solo trail running on these same trails was a good way to train for the Spartan races I liked to sign up for. But I did a lot of training on my own, and had neither the time nor discipline to get myself into the kind of shape necessary for beasting these Spartan races, and solo training gets old (at least it does for me). I remember hearing Yanni and Boyardee mention F3 at neighborhood flag football games, but I wasn’t sure I could afford to sacrifice precious work time in order to join (I’m an early riser, and 2 hours of peace and quiet each morning before the kids woke up kept me mostly caught up at work). Finally Dueling Banjos applied the Emotional Headlock that I couldn’t escape, so I took the plunge at “The Thicket” 1 year ago and was hooked! I encountered men, many of whom I recognized from the neighborhood but never knew, and they similarly rose early to push their bodies to the limit, and support each other in the process. F3 guys are the type you want to get to know: they are disciplined enough to push exercise and fellowship to the margins of their internal body clocks, doing so at great personal sacrifice, because they see its importance, and also because they are impactful men at work, in the community, and at home at all other times.

Quickly BC F3 expanded from a single weekly workout, and within 6 months we had workouts available 6 days per week, F2 and F3 opportunities, EC opportunities for those who eschew sleep, and even a kids workout that brings me joy to share with my 2.0’s Schneebly and Skittles. I now count many male friends in the neighborhood, and am probably in the best shape I have been in for the past 20 years (but have a long way to go looking at some of the PAX!), actively look for leadership opportunities, actively EH all my non-F3 friends, and while I’m now always behind on work and a little stressed out as a result, at least I’m fit and happy! Everyone probably has a similar story, but thanks to you all for giving me a great reason to shed the fartsack every day. Cheers Dueling Banjos!

Now to the workout. Before joining F3 I used to run to the Woods Charter playground and use it for Spartan training. As our numbers have grown fewer Q’s use it’s bevy of implements for making one strong because of space constraints, but we’ll see what we can do. With our growing numbers, and F3 PAX strategically sprinkled throughout the neighborhood, there’s no reason why we can’t be the most bad-ass Neighborhood Watch around these parts. Like ninja vigilantes, we will train today by working on speed, strength, agility and a little stealth. Let’s get to it.

Warmup:

SSH IC x 20, Cross country skiers IC x 20, Forward arm circles IC x 10, reverse IC x 10, Willie May Hayes (led by VQ-in-waiting Nanu-Nanu) IC x 10

The Thang:

Mosey to the playground. All men will do a circuit as follows: boulder R->L on wall, 2 panels, then proceed to zig-zag balance beams for Crawl Bear, then proceed to balance beam leading to fire pole and walk backwards. Any misstep at one of these stations results in 5 penalty Burpees. Now the entire PAX must get up the fire pole by any means necessary – assistance encouraged. No aimless waiting around either – if you’re waiting around, you’re doing SSH, cross-country skiers, or pull-ups.

Now mosey as a PAX to the pavilion for dips/derkins. PAX split into two groups, 1 doing dips whilst the other does curb-derkins. 25 SC. Then switch.

Now venture into the neighborhood heading up the hill. Anytime a car comes, the PAX falls into a maximally-suspicious low-plank hold until the danger has passed (this never panned out, because there were surprisingly no cars until the very end when time was of the essence). Alternate AYG sprints with moseys, switching at every “street” (I included alleys as streets in my calculus, but wasn’t clear about this) corner going up the hill, until arriving at the basketball courts. Here we did a little gem I remember from my first F3 workout, the merkin pyramid [can’t remember who Q’d my first F3 workout, and sadly, that information appears to be lost to history]. Like Spinal Tap’s amps, this pyramid went to #11. Midwife noises from the PAX noted, and appreciated.

Mosey to the Sunnyside field. Stealthily sneak back and forth, zig-zagging from tree-tree, so as not to get spotted.  Do the following methods of sneaking: crab walk, walk crab, side shuffle in one direction and then the other. Time unfortunately did not allow these faves, thank God: army crawl, crawl army, lizard crawl, bear crawl, crawl bear, and Bernie Sanders. The 5 Merkins behind each tree also ended up on the cutting room floor.

Hustle mosey back to the AO as 6:30 draws near. This is when the cars made their appearance of course.

Mary:

Makhtar N’Diayes IC x 15 (RIP 2018 Tar Heels)

That’s it, I told you time was short!

COT:

Announcements:

BC’s inaugural CSAUP is this weekend! “The Gambler”. Sign up on Slack. Thanks for taking the lead on this Chum.

Happy 39th(?) Birthday to GTL. Now shut up and Merkin! (nice assist Bright Idea)

As I said in the introduction, F3 has been transformative for me and I have all of you to thank for it. Like everything in life, you get out of F3 what you put into it, so dive into new AO’s, try out new sub-cults like Spartan EC, ruck EC, Murph EC, and take the lead on an F2 or F3 event. F3 is hard, but as my dad used to say, “You’ll never appreciate anything that comes easy”.

Aye!